BRISTOL, CT – After the departure of NBA Champion and former Toronto Raptor Kawhi Leonard to the LA Clippers, ESPN has resumed the assumption that Canada is a mythical, non-existent land wh…
Tag: Featured Post
Woman who escaped religious oppressors trapped in photo with secular oppressor
PARIS – Nobel Peace prize winner and advocate for access to education for women, Malala Yousafzai, escaped the clutches of religious oppressors in her native Pakistan seven years ago only t…
Ford claims carbon tax recklessly rear-ended him in latest legal attempt
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford appeared at an Ontario Superior Court with his injury lawyer claiming he was involved in a motor vehicle collision last night with the carbon tax, and announced …
Cartoonist fired after viral cartoon threatens to keep print media relevant
SAINT JOHN, NB – Editorial cartoonist Michael de Adder was let go from Brunswick News Inc. just days after his viral cartoon of President Trump golfing near the bodies of dead migrants thre…
Doug Ford hires only the best family and friends to get to the bottom of nepotism claims
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford has announced that he will review claims of nepotism by his government along with a crack team of friends and family members. Ford explained that the public can …
US Supreme Court rules bricking people up in wine cellars is legal as long as it’s done for partisan purposes
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a 5 to 4 decision, the US Supreme Court ruled today that while it remains illegal to lure people down to wine cellars, basements or catacombs and bury them alive behin…
Raptors sweeten offer to Kawhi Leonard with 500 MB of data on Canadian cell phone plan
TORONTO – Early reports indicate that the Toronto Raptors have offered free agent Kawhi Leonard 500 MB on his Canadian cell phone plan if he signs with the team for another season. “We’re w…
Quiz: Do you trust priests again, or are you watching Fleabag Season 2?
As summer approaches it’s important for many to take spiritual stock in what one believes. The current political climate would suggest that returning to popular religions such as Catholicism may …
Quebec law requires all circumcised government workers to wear secular foreskin covers
QUEBEC CITY – All circumcised men in positions of authority within the province of Quebec are now legally compelled to wear an artificial foreskin cover in the workplace. An overlooked regu…
Update: Fuck hockey
TORONTO – Earlier reports indicate that the nation has collectively said ‘fuck it’ to hockey since basketball is now the official sport of Canada. Despite hundreds of billions of hours the …
