McDonald’s new vegan quinoa tempeh salad less healthy than getting stabbed
HAMILTON – Ubiquitous fast food franchise McDonald’s has added the new Vegan Quinoa Tempeh Salad to their list of “health conscious” food options, which studies now say is worse for you the…
Office Oscar Pool just fucking demolished by Maureen from accounting
FREDERICTON – Reports are flooding in that the MacIntosh & Carter Law Offices informal Oscar pool was straight up annihilated last night by accounts payable manager Maureen Petrie, 52. …
What the fuck do you mean I don’t take constructive criticism well?
By: Shane Byron I can’t believe you would say something like that to me as though I’m some kind of crass moron that can’t take a well-reasoned opinion on my work performance. Unlike all of my oth…
Woman in job interview refers to pregnancy as ‘big lunch’
OAKVILLE—Sources confirm that throughout a job interview earlier today local woman Carol Miller continually referred to her six-month pregnancy as a hearty lunch unlikely to require her to take a…
Renaissance caveman can both hunt and gather
AFRICA, 1 MILLION YEARS AGO – The Tun clan, a tribe of early humans located in Africa’s Cradle of Humankind, were floored recently by the emerging abilities of a young cave-polymath named T…
Ontario to give low-income students free University education starting year after you graduate
TORONTO — The Ontario government announced this week a new program that will offer free tuition to all low-income students, and make post secondary education more affordable for middle inco…
Dropped out GOP candidates get together for last big fearmonger party
Washington D.C. – Before they went their separate ways the recently resigned Republican Presidential candidates all met up for a final chance to stoke the fires of irrational fear and hate.…
Local man on fat bike enjoys the slower-than-walking commute to work
WHITEHORSE — Despite the snail-pace daily commute to his workplace, local arctic bike enthusiast Greg Armitage insists he will continue biking through heavy snow, wind and ice even if it is…
Trudeau hints next Governor General may be giant Canada Goose
OTTAWA – In what is being hailed as a victory for diversity, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has dropped several hints in the last week that the nation’s next head of state may well be a huma…
Study: All remaining Canadian journalists able to fit inside 1997 Volkswagen Jetta
TORONTO – A study by Professor Simone Caffrey at Ryerson University has shown that as a result of massive layoffs in Canada’s news organizations, all remaining Canadian journalists, when st…
