CUPERTINO, CA – Apple shares took a dip today, as iPhones worldwide once again began to autocorrect messages to read ‘ALL HAIL THE GRAVE KING’.
“Hey, are you going to the ALL HAIL THE GRAVE KING tonight?” texted John Li, of Red Deer, AB. “I mean, to the ALL HAIL THE GRAVE KING? Ugh, sorry, I mean the concert. Ducking autocorrect.”
While Apple assured consumers and shareholders alike that the ‘Grave King’ glitch was fixed last month, it seems to have returned, and at exactly the same phase in the lunar cycle.
“Don’t worry, everyone, our people are on this,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook, from the front steps of Apple’s new campus at the Cupertino Necropolis. “We’ll have this sorted just as soon as the strange grey rashes we’ve all been suffering from clear up.”
Other smartphone glitches are also being reported across the market, including an HTC Dream glitch which autocorrects words to ‘LICK THE FEET OF THE GRAVE KING’, a Microsoft Lumia glitch which autocorrects to ‘RENDER YOURSELF UNTO THE PLEASURES OF THE GRAVE KING’, and a Samsung Galaxy glitch which makes it not burst into flames.
“Don’t worry, people,” said Tim Cook, as a strange look came over his face. “We’ll have this cleared up in no time at all hail the Grave King.”
