Since any staged interaction between the public and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is considered newsworthy and a ‘photobomb’, the Beaverton has developed a state-of-the-art random headline...
How To Plan A Wedding
Need tips on how to plan the day you’ll pretend was the best day of your life?...
Blue Jays players warned to not risk injury by trying any more ‘baseball stuff’
TORONTO – Team Physician Dr. Jason Smith has warned the remaining healthy players on the Toronto Blue Jays not to try any more ‘baseball stuff’, as the risk of injury is too great. “There have b...
Toronto yuppies insist shopping at Food Basics puts them at risk of catching “poor”
TORONTO — Residents of an upscale condo development in Toronto’s Junction neighbourhood are protesting recently announced plans to build a Food Basics supermarket next door, which they say puts them a...
Nepotism in the White House: Jared Kushner now gets to shave the president’s back
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – In what critics have described as ‘blatant nepotism’, President Trump has empowered son-in-law Jared Kushner to be the person who shaves his back. “Jared is as...
We look back at the non-call that Leafs fans can’t forget
The Beaverton Remembers: Gretzky’s high stick on Gilmour....
Report: Backpacks are just like purses that can hold stuff
HALIFAX- According to a new report, backpacks are essentially purses except for one major distinction: They can actually hold things. “It may seem obvious, but many women do not realize that backpacks...
Quiz: Are you the Premier of New Brunswick?
Since the position was created in the 1840’s New Brunswick has had 33 premiers, of which you know none. Until someone comes forward and claims the title can you be sure that you are not the premier of...
The Beaverton Weekly Report: May 24, 2017
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts thei...
Canadian Top Gun sequel centres around pilots waiting around for government to procure jets
COLD LAKE, AB – Filmmakers have already started production of Canadian-themed sequel to the blockbuster hit TOP GUN, which is premised around two renegade pilots waiting for their aging CF-18s t...
