Science Minister Kirsty Duncan terminates escaped specimen on floor of House of Commons
OTTAWA – Moments after an escaped lab specimen burst screeching through the House of Commons doors, Science Minister Kirsty Duncan has euthanized it, with the assistance of a double-barrell…
Conservative Candidate Profile: Kellie Leitch
Name: Kellie Leitch Background Leitch has taken a courageous stand against the Ottawa “elite”, who she coincidentally defines as anyone you also don’t like. She is often commended for pulling her…
String quartet charged after hotel room refurbished
OTTAWA – Following their sold out concert in the Nation’s Capital, notorious chamber music band The Opus Four have be heavily fined for tastefully redecorating their room at the Marriott. A…
America outraged at Russia: ‘manipulating foreign elections is our thing!’
Outrage in America this weekend as the CIA confirmed that Russia did in fact influence the results of the 2016 election. Not only is the US worried about it’s security, they are real…
Horse Cop thought this job would involve more jousting
HALIFAX – In his first week as the newest member of the Halifax Regional Police’s mounted unit, Constable Grayson DeLuca demonstrated all the passion for community service that has defined his 7 …
Utensil formerly known as “The Good Knife” stripped of title
RED DEER – Stunning observers in the Stephenson kitchen, The Good Knife has unceremoniously been forced to relinquish its title. The shocking loss of status occurred yesterday before dinner…
Professor’s clever trick question on exam prevents 14 students from attending law school
MONTREAL – Speaking to his stunned class two weeks after their midterm, Dr. Emile Hastings revealed that one of the seemingly simple questions on the test was actually a fun little trick, t…
Electoral Reform Primer: P3- that dope ass one Stephane Dion likes
Overview: You remember that adorable nerd, Stephane Dion? A few years ago, he came up with a better electoral reform system than anybody else ever has. But Canada has not adopted this system, bec…
Trump going to wait for KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia of election tampering
NEW YORK – Following a CIA report that alleges Russian tampered with the 2016 American election, President-elect Donald Trump plans to wait for the KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia o…
Stan Lee set to cameo in future Marvel porn parodies
LOS ANGELES – Vivid Entertainment has announced that famed comic book creator, Stan Lee, has been confirmed to appear in cameo roles for forthcoming porn parodies of Marvel superhero films. “We c…
