WINNIPEG, MB – Contrary to anyone who has met the man, local cuck, Charles Bennington, known to many in the community as “Chuck the Cuck,” has reportedly been “cucksplaining” to anyone who will listen how he’s not, by his measure, a complete SJW cuck.
“Uhh, technically, I’m not even married,” Bennington’s cuck mouth said in an interview. “It’s impossible for me to be cuckolded by definition.”
Several witnesses say that after hearing Bennington’s “cucksplanations,” they tended to disagree with the noted cuck’s steadfast judgement that he is not a cuck, citing the fact that he looks, acts, and sounds like a sorry malignant cuck in all aspects of life, regardless of his marital status.
Sources also report knowing intuitively, deep within their bones, that if Bennington were in fact married, his wife would – with 100% certainty – be constantly banging every alpha dude she came across, due to the man’s obvious snowflake, beta-male cuck weakness, so he should just shut up about it and accept that he’s a cuck.
“You should really stop calling me a cuck,” said Bennington, as everyone within earshot rolled their eyes. “Why is everyone calling me this word all of a sudden? All I did was say ‘I like this’ on a video about making apple pie. God!”
At press time, Bennington was seen “cuckspreading” his legs while sitting on the subway.