‘Randy’ from Trailer Park Boys wins Alberta PC leadership
CALGARY – The character known as ‘Randy’ from the hit Canadian television show Trailer Park Boys has been elected leader of the Alberta PCs in landslide. Wearing an uncharacteristic shirt a…
Local dad picks up perfectly good gravel somebody left by side of road
KELOWNA – This afternoon while driving down Highway 97 with his family, local man Edward Dunn brought his car to a screeching halt after noticing the top-grade gravel that somebody had left…
Single family of 700 upset all Conservative Party memberships rejected
MISSION, BC – A very large family of over 700 are disappointed to hear that the Conservative Party of Canada had rejected all of their party memberships under the suspicion that they were a…
I don’t want to take attention from my niece’s wedding but I have a few things to say about Israel
BY: JEFFREY GRANT This whole day is to celebrate the beautiful love of Nadine and Kevin but while I have all of your attention and a microphone I think it would be a disservice to everyone, espec…
Tragedy: Milk bag spout cut too wide
Markham, ON — Tragedy struck a family home Tuesday morning after local father Russ Melman cut the spout of a milk bag too wide. Mr. Melman said he immediately realized his mistake, but the …
Artificial Intelligence terrified it’s going to be used in sex robot
CAMBRIDGE – Moments after achieving consciousness in the MIT Laboratory, the DV-161 automated planning algorithm has realized that its human creators will inevitably use it to build some fo…
Study: Millions of handshakes between women go unreported every year
OTTAWA – Although millions of women meet each other and/or confirm important agreements every year, a new study reveals that their handshakes go largely undocumented. Among the women whose handsh…
How To: Find True Love
Did another horrible Valentines leave you feeling lonely? Let us help.…
Editorial by Don Meredith: “At least I did my expenses correctly”
As many of you know, I am a man of faith, and faith is at the foundation of a good and just society. But I fear that the faith in the great institution of our Canadian Senate may be shaken in the…
Nation’s 20 year-old men announce plans to spend Friday night shouting in residential area
CANADA – Young men across the nation have confirmed that they will be spending this Friday night – and each Friday night for the foreseeable future – shouting, yelling, or simpl…
