Winnipeg Jets-San Jose Sharks rivalry heats up over a girl named Maria
SAN JOSE- The San Jose Sharks-Winnipeg Jets rivalry has hit a fever pitch after the Jets’ Mark Scheifele accidentally fell in love with Maria Burns – the enchanting sister of Sharks’ Brent Burns.…
Health Canada concerned about possible outbreak of white men wearing shorts in winter
White guys wearing shorts in winter, is it an epidemic? Catch this week’s new episode of The Beaverton at 10pm EST, Wednesday on The Comedy Network.…
Local cuck happily married
WINNIPEG – Despite reports confirming that local librarian Richard Gordon is a complete beta cuck, further evidence has recently emerged that he is in a happy and healthy marriage of severa…
Canadians Learn About Gandhi and Serial Killer Gilles de Rais
Canadians learn About Gandhi and serial killer Gilles de Rais, and the results will shock you! #BeavFeed…
Nation pats itself on the back for only being pretty racist
CANADA – In the lead-up to the inauguration of an openly xenophobic US president, Canada is taking a moment to quietly congratulate itself on only being very racist. “Obviously, we’re not a…
Trudeau returns from island vacay with souvenir ethics investigation
OTTAWA – A well-rested and freshly dreamy Prime Minister Trudeau returned from an island vacation in the Bahamas Monday with that “new controversy smell” after purchasing an ethics investig…
Trump cements job creator status by booking Three Doors Down
WASHINGTON, D.C. – United States president-elect Donald Trump delivered this week on his campaign promise to put unemployed Americans back to work by hiring the country’s single least-employable …
Author praised for powerful essay “Why would he comment on my post but not like it?”
TORONTO – Toronto’s literary elite flocked to the Gladstone Hotel last night to attend a reading by up-and- coming writer Joanna McKinley, author of the groundbreaking essay, “Why would he commen…
Dr. Prof. Hon. Couns. Kellie Leitch, MD, MBA, PP, QC, RSC, BBQ, GST, vows to protect Canada from elites
Creemore, ONT – Fresh off the heels of leaked audio in which Hon. Dr. K. Kellie Leitch, P.C., O.Ont., M.D., M.B.A., F.R.C.S.(C) insisted that she’s “not an idiot” because of the volume of letters…
How To: Get Screeched In
Not sure how to fit in while you’re in Newfoundland? Check out this handy how-to on the art of “getting screeched in”.…
