Low-grade depression is summer's hottest accessory - The Beaverton
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Low-grade depression is summer’s hottest accessory

NEW YORK- Style forecasters and trendsetters alike are thrilled to announce low grade depression is the trend of the summer. Hot off cubicles of that 9-to-5 desk job that you took just for the winter is now definitely stretching into the summer months, everyone’s feeling shitty and it’s never been a more exciting time.

“I’m so ecstatic about this,” reveals stylist Cheyenne Mink. “I finally don’t have to pretend I missed your call because I was busy. I can now truthfully answer it’s because I was stuck in bed for three days straight.”

“So chic!”

The best part is that low grade depression is for everyone. All ages, races and genders are getting in on this trend.

“What with the advent of social media, everyone can really get into this feeling of depression,” said fashion designer Filippe. “Instagram and Facebook can show you everything you’re not doing right. In the past you had to earn your depression, but now your crippling social anxiety is available at the click of a button. The future is here!”

And if you’re unsure of how to get in on the trend, first off, feeling unsure is a great way to start! Since you’re doubting yourself causing insecurity which can lead to depression. And for the real cutting edge trendsetters filling up your medicine cabinet with all the hottest drugs sends the right message.

“If I peek behind your mirror and see Wellbutrin, Prozac and Paxil I know I’m at the hottest party in town,” says trend forecaster Seraphina Esptein.

However not everyone is so keen on the trend. Cognitive therapy specialist, Sam Reeds is less than excited, “People who glamourize depression are monsters. It’s not a cronut it’s a mental health condition… Wait by complaining I’m being pretty negative. Makes me feel kind of sad… Am I kind of depressed? Oh my god I’m so on fleek!”

There’s no word if this trend is here to stay, but judging by how most people feel a slight dread forever creeping upon them until the gathering darkness envelopes us all, I think it’s safe to say that low grade depression might become a classic.

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