EDITORIAL: Stop freaking out because I’m waving this loaded gun around, by Maxime Bernier
By Maxime Bernier Can everyone please calm the fuck down? Tabarnak. Look, just because I’m reaching out to Canada’s firearms manufacturers and gun owners to raise money for my leadership bid, doe…
Canadian Blood Services’ ban on gay blood donors
The Beaverton uncovers the real reason Canadian Blood Services won’t let gay men donate blood.…
New STI discovered in Victoria nursing home
Victoria, BC – Health Canada admitted this morning that a new sexually transmitted infection has been discovered in nursing home resident Gladys Newcombe. “This new STI causes terrible pain…
5 sexy joke Halloween costumes to spark an evening of ironic intercourse
Halloween. Pumpkins. Candy. Fun parties. And sex you as woman would otherwise feel shame for seeking out. Check out our Halloween guide below to make your perfect costume for trick-or-treating yo…
Local woman relieved she can stop meaning to figure out what Vine is
ST. JOHN’S – With the announcement that Twitter will shut down its popular video sharing app Vine, local woman Angela MacIsaac, 31, has expressed relief that she no longer feels obligated t…
Report: Everyone at Halloween party wearing Stranger Things costume
FREDERICTON – Reports surfaced early yesterday morning confirming that every single attendee at the office Halloween party was wearing a Stranger Things themed costume. “I mean, we knew it …
New ‘Da Vinci Code’ movie highly anticipated among Dan Browns
LOS ANGELES, CA — The Dan Browns of Dan Brown’s Dan Brown Fan Club released an official statement on their website, Saturday, expressing their excitement for Inferno, the new film in the Da…
Study: average household onto third box of Halloween candy by now
OTTAWA — A recent study at the University of Ottawa has concluded that 93% of Canadian households have already bought and eaten two boxes of candy intended for Halloween, and are working on a thi…
EDITORIAL: I wouldn’t mind cyclists if they weren’t so smug about getting maimed and killed
By Herb Fentle Look, cyclists are fine. I get it, you want to exercise, and do it in a way that everyone can see you do it. And you want to make it very clear to the street that you really care a…
You are ten years old – what treat will you receive from Grandpa?
You’re ten years old, and it’s time for a visit to grandpa’s house. Will you end up getting a treat or will it end up being something much, much worse? To find out, start your j…