Mitt Romney divorces wife to marry corporation
MANCHESTER, N.H. – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced he is divorcing his wife of 40 years to marry a corporation with whom he has had a love affair over the last seven…
North Korea looking for used rockets on Craigslist
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – Following their failed rocket launch two weeks ago, North Korea’s scientists are scrapping their research and development program to concentrate on obtaining a work…
Real life friendship devolves into Facebook friendship
TORONTO – A six-year friendship between former college roommates Stefan Gelko, 27, and Nick Shobel, 26, has recently devolved into a relationship existing solely in Facebook form, a concerned Gel…
Mean glee club rules school with iron jazz hands
OTTAWA – A new menace walks a syncopated beat at Mallory Weiss High School in the form of the Mallory Weiss High School Glee club. Formed only 6 months ago, the “Mean Tones” hav…
Fourth grader quits school to set off for better life
KITCHENER, ON – Fed up with the 9-3 grind, fourth grader Tim Eldow has decided to call it quits and search for a better life. “The whole lifestyle just wasn’t doing it for me anymore,” the …
Yo-Yo trick fails to impress in-laws
CALGARY – A complicated yo-yo trick failed to impress Joel Steadman’s in-laws during Easter dinner this weekend. “I nailed a ‘Reverse Double or Nothing’ and got no reaction from Ellen’s par…
Pizza Pizza hires first Italian employee
Toronto, ON – Pizza Pizza, one of the largest pizza chains in North America, announced yesterday that, for the first time in the company’s 52 year history, it had hired an employee of Italian des…
Couple attending different online colleges decide they will try to make it work
GUELPH, ON – Faced with different online colleges and the strain it might place on their relationship, high school sweethearts Jeff Breadle and Stacey Middlenan have decided to try and make…
Canadian penny gets the boot
Ottawa will phase out the Canadian penny later this year because it costs 1.6 Canadian cents to produce each coin. What’s your say? “This might be the big break my uncle needs to create int…
