The Beaverton

Mitt Romney divorces wife to marry corporation

MANCHESTER, N.H. – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced he is divorcing his wife of 40 years to marry a corporation with whom he has had a love affair over the last seven…

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Yo-Yo trick fails to impress in-laws

CALGARY – A complicated yo-yo trick failed to impress Joel Steadman’s in-laws during Easter dinner this weekend. “I nailed a ‘Reverse Double or Nothing’ and got no reaction from Ellen’s par…

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Pizza Pizza hires first Italian employee

Toronto, ON – Pizza Pizza, one of the largest pizza chains in North America, announced yesterday that, for the first time in the company’s 52 year history, it had hired an employee of Italian des…

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Canadian penny gets the boot

Ottawa will phase out the Canadian penny later this year because it costs 1.6 Canadian cents to produce each coin. What’s your say? “This might be the big break my uncle needs to create int…

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