WASHINGTON D.C. – In a bid to put an end to the longstanding epidemic of random fires breaking out across the nation, President Trump has put forward a bold plan to combat them by arming firefighters ...
Republicans attack CNN for not interviewing “pro-school shooting” teens
WASHINGTON – Republican lawmakers and activists are pointing to the lack of teenage supporters of school shootings on CNN as another example of liberal bias in the media. “The question we need t...
Canadian women’s hockey team Olympic silver medal really let country down, says 42-year-old unemployed loser
MATTAWA, ON – Following an overtime loss in the gold medal hockey game, local man Douglas Birch became vocal on social media about the national shame brought on by Canada’s 2nd place result. “Wh...
Patrick Brown kicks off campaign for Ontario PC leadership at all-ages night in Barrie bar
BARRIE – After obtaining the approval of the Ontario PC Party’s provincial nominations committee, Patrick Brown officially kicked off his campaign for the party’s leadership at an all-ages event...
Act of Sportsmanship: Canada’s women curlers allow others to beat them so less popular countries could medal
PYEONGCHANG – For the first time in Canadian Olympic history, Canada’s women curlers will not be returning with a medal as the team decided to allow other countries a chance to win an Olympic me...
Petition launched to remove controversial statue of Wawa’s Founding Goose
WAWA, ON – The iconic goose that overlooks the Northern Ontario town of Wawa has been a hotbed for controversy after a formal petition was launched to remove the statue which glorifies the town’...
Riverdale Recap: I stopped watching but here’s what I’m pretty sure is happening
As an avid reader of Archie comics, when The CW announced that they were making a film-noir, sexy teen version of the show, I was waiting with breath that was baited. As the first season came to a clo...
Pornhub front page taken over by clips of Virtue and Moir’s gold medal routine
MONTREAL – After their technically perfect and perfectly erotic short and long dance programs led them to another ice dance gold medal, Canada’s Virtue and Moir are currently dominating the enti...
Trudeau gifts Indian PM Light Armoured Vehicle as a sign of friendship
NEW DELHI – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has offered Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi a brand new Canadian-built LAV III to express his appreciation for the strong relationship between the t...
Man’s groundbreaking idea for podcast involves him and his friends reviewing movies
TORONTO – Saying that it was “sure to be epic”, leading member of the avant-garde David Tassel revealed the details of his podcast idea yesterday, announcing that it would be him and his friends...
