Inspiring! Company sex robot appointed first female CEO of Uber
SAN FRANCISCO – Uber, the world-conquering ride share and regulation-dodging app, has taken the bold step of appointing its first ever female CEO: Ashlynn Haze, the company sex robot. “We realize…
STUDY: Shitty boyfriend will for sure change this time
DARTMOUTH, N.S. – Putting to rest any doubt in the minds of ex-girlfriends everywhere, a new study has found that – despite noticing an established pattern of selfish, inexcusable beh…
Montreal driver accidentally discovers turn signal while reaching for latte
MONTREAL – Driver Claude Williams was surprised to discover the turn signal on his Toyota RAV4 – a feature of his car thus far unknown to him and most Montreal drivers – while reaching for …
Twitter suspends Rose McGowan for not smiling enough
SAN FRANCISCO – American actress and director Rose McGowan was temporarily banned by Twitter this week after making several vocal statements about Harvey Weinstein and those complicit in hi…
CRA to impose 40% tax on short, fleeting moments when retail workers feel alive
OTTAWA – In a document posted on its website Canada Revenue Agency has announced that, moving forward, all of the country’s retail workers will be required to give the government 40% of the…
Rogue cop bucks system by going to jail after shooting teen
TORONTO – After a fatal encounter with an unarmed teenager, one renegade cop is bucking the system by actually going to jail for the crime. “I called him in and demanded that he not give me…
Brad Wall delivers emotional eulogy at funeral for Energy East pipeline
CALGARY – Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall gave a powerful and touching eulogy earlier today for a young pipeline whose life was tragically cut short. “Energy East was never given a fair chan…
After interviewing Jagmeet about Air India CBC promises to question Catholic Andrew Scheer about the IRA
Luke is joined by comedians Andrew Ivimey and Freddie Rivas as well as writer Tom Conway. Together they discuss the CBC’s dog whistling Jagmeet Singh interview (3:00), why people who don…
Local man optimistic his life will return to normal after being acquitted of bestiality on technicality
EDMONTON – After being acquitted of seven counts of unnatural acts with an animal due to a legal loophole, local horse enthusiast Dan Smith was confident about his prospects going forward. …
Anne of Green Gables VR too intense for average Canadian
VANCOUVER – In its quarterly earnings call with investors this week, EA Games announced that its new Anne of Green Gables VR experience will be indefinitely delayed because it has proven fa…
