Celebrated dealmaker Donald Trump trades Alaska back to Russia in exchange for beans
Anchorage, AK – American President Donald Trump has made a deal with Russian President Vladimir Putin that would give the state of Alaska, purchased by the United States in 1867, back to Ru…
Free Hugs volunteers killing the $5 hugs industry
REGINA – The once thriving industry of paid hugs in Canada have all but disappeared over the past few years due volunteers who are offering their services for free. 36-year-old Aiden Greger…
Annual Quebec corruption scandal arrives earlier than expected
QUEBEC CITY – The corruption scandal, a sacred and time-tested Quebec tradition whereby the entire government is thrown into disarray after revelations of shady behind the scenes dealing, s…
Ontario retirees loitering in Shoppers parking lot hassling teens for free prescription drugs
Brampton, ON — Since the Ontario Liberals’ announced a plan to make prescription drugs free for youth under 25, retirees have been spotted swarming Shoppers Drug Mart parking lots looking f…
How To Enjoy A Music Festival
If you have to go to a music festival, at least do it right.…
Science minister Kirsty Duncan leaves time machine just in time to stop Kirsty Duncan from killing John A. Macdonald
OTTAWA – Minister of Science Kirsty Duncan has burst out of a time machine on June 24, 1867, just in time to prevent a younger version of herself from murdering Father of Confederation John A. Ma…
Hottest Spring Trend: Getting sick right before you have an event you can’t get out of
NEW YORK – This just in, spring’s hottest trend has nothing to do with bomber jackets or skinny jeans and everything to do with your immune system. Famous trend forecaster Jil Whitman has o…
‘I’m going to business school’ reports man who just gave up
Toronto – Self identified failure James Octin has decided to go to University of Western Ontario for a Masters in Business Administration after giving up on all other possible options. “I…
6 tips on staying fashionable while stuck on a 12 storey high crane hook
We’ve all been there – stuck on top of a crane hook 120 feet in the air teetering above a city. But what should you wear for the occasion? Here are 6 sensible fashion tips that just screams…
O’Leary will continue marketing campaign by launching NDP leadership bid
TORONTO – Reality TV star and former Conservative leadership candidate Kevin O’Leary has announced that he will be running for the NDP leader in an effort continue advertising and selling h…