Nation could really use Gord Downie’s songwriting to help them process Gord Downie’s death
KINGSTON – Waking up to the news of Gord Downie’s death, the nation was forced to confront the fact that the only thing that could help them deal with this tragedy would be a moving b…
Liberals announce plan to just let every Canadian choose their own tax rate
Luke and the Panel (Ryan Dillon, Rebecca Reeds and Scott Montgomery) talk about Quebec’s new Niqab ban, Quebec’s distinct Islamophobia, the Liberals ‘choose your own adventure&#…
Dyson unveils first ever vacuumless bag
MALMESBURY, UK – In a remarkable feat of engineering, English technology company Dyson, Ltd. has produced a bag that works entirely without the need for a vacuum cleaner. “I was at home one…
Pizza Pizza celebrates 50th anniversary by ordering Dominos for entire office
TORONTO – In order to celebrate serving what could be described as pizza for 50 years, Pizza Pizza bought all their employees Dominos for lunch. “Everyone is super excited to be rewarded for our …
Manitoba releases special license plates for unfriendly Manitobans
WINNIPEG – In what is being heralded as a win for cranky Canadians everywhere, the Manitoba Court of Appeal has ruled in favour of the creation of special license plates for drivers who liv…
Calgary’s only municipal ballot counter loses track, needs to start over
CALGARY – Further results of the Calgary election have been delayed after the city’s only ballot counter lost track of the numbers and was forced to start from the very first vote. Incumben…
Nation’s women running out of ways to say “YEAH OF COURSE IT’S HAPPENED TO ME!”
OTTAWA – A social media trend created in response to producer Harvey Weinstein’s assault allegations has reportedly exhausted methods for women to say “Yes all women”, “Me too”, “Obviously”…
YouTube lube reviewer takes time out of latest video to share thoughts on North Korea
THE INTERNET – In his latest video, popular “Lubetuber” LubeStar747 decided to interrupt his weekly “Wet Wednesday” review to offer his thoughts on the rising tensions between t…
Andrew Scheer tries to engage in social media by inviting everyone to play FarmVille
OTTAWA – In an attempt to connect with younger voters via social media, Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer invited all Canadians to play FarmVille. “Justin Trudeau and Jagmeet Singh may have…
The Beaverton seeks studio audience members with laughs that sound like a laugh track for live tapings
TORONTO (OK TECHNICALLY SCARBOROUGH BUT WHATEVER) – Award nominated television programme The Beaverton is in need of audience members for live tapings. The only condition? Their laughter mu…
