Cool! Cheesecake Factory now has a new menu for each stage of grief!
As if Cheesecake Factory didn’t already have something delicious for everyone, from pizza to burgers to amazing desserts, they’ve just unveiled 5 delicious new menus inspired by each of Elizabeth…
Lone actress in war drama proud to represent only woman who participated in WWII
LOS ANGELES – Oscar-winning actress Catherine Lynette was honoured to play the only woman in a cast of 50 in a dramatic new film about World War II, War Hath No Fury. “They asked me to read…
Great Lakes downgraded to Okay Lakes
TORONTO – Following months of painstaking research and discussion, a quorum of the world’s leading lake experts have come to the conclusion that the bodies of water formerly known as the Gr…
Local man says father “dumb enough” to fall for history’s largest, most sophisticated propaganda network
LANSING, SOUTH DAKOTA — 25 year old business administrator Jayson Milnerd has once again expressed astonishment that his Trump-supporting father is “so ignorant” as to fall for a multibilli…
Jagmeet Singh trades his BMW for a clunker to appeal to working class voters
OTTAWA – NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh has traded in his red BMW coupe for a used 1994 Toyota Camry so he can send a message to working class voters that he is one of them. “This car may be wort…
Woman warns coworker of clogged toilet like she shielding rookie officer from mangled corpse
OTTAWA — Reports have confirmed that senior HR administrator Sheryl Leon prevented her colleague, financial analyst Lauren Thomas, from opening the door to a bathroom stall containing a clogged t…
POLL: 100 percent of Albertans believe province will be ruined if those assholes win the election
RED DEER, AB – A new poll has revealed that every single Albertan thinks the province will go to shit if those assholes win the upcoming election. The April 16th vote promises to be a showd…
Trudeau opts to put out fire with kerosene
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau took the bold step of putting out a fire out by pouring a bucket of kerosene on it. “I told myself: Justin, this has to end,” Trudeau said, with his j…
Rich fuck eating something gold
NEW YORK CITY – Even though it adds absolutely no flavour, noted rich fuck, Andy Robinson, 48, of independent investment firm RRBexchange Capital was reported seen paying over $1000 to add…
Politicians pump gas for first time in their lives
NORTH BAY, ON – Ontario PC and federal Conservative politicians have filled up a car’s tank of gas for their very first time with little to no assistance at local gas stations across Ontari…
