Hamilton, ON – In a landmark move towards representation and inclusion, the network behind beloved holiday movies that traditionally centre around heterosexual romances, will now feature the whi...
Robot’s parents very proud of her for finally passing CAPTCHA test
CALGARY – After years of trying to pass one of the ubiquitous CAPTCHA tests that are designed to be inscrutable to artificial intelligences, local humanoid robot LV82245, known to her friends an...
Toronto police demand G20 victims accept apology and disperse
TORONTO – Speaking through a megaphone from behind a line of riot police, Toronto police chief James Ramer warned over 1000 people unjustly arrested and detained during the 2010 G-20 summit that...
Trudeau ready to trigger election if cafeteria doesn’t have those delicious mozza sticks
OTTAWA – While waiting in line at the Parliamentary cafeteria, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said he’s willing to go to the polls if he doesn’t get his hands on some gooey mozza sticks within th...
Guy wearing brown cape hopefully just quirky and not some weird new kind of white supremacist
OTTAWA – According to reports, a man spotted wearing a brown cape with a little hood is, dear God let’s hope, just really into Lord of the Rings or something and not wearing this as a kind of signal t...
Pope Francis supports gay civil unions in an attempt to bring Catholicism into the ‘90s
VATICAN CITY – Speaking in a new documentary, Pope Francis has revealed his support for legal recognition of same-sex civil unions as part of his revolutionary plan to make the Roman Catholic Ch...
Alberta removes education from curriculum
EDMONTON – After taking recommendations from hand-picked advisors, Premier Danielle Smith’s UCP government will be removing education from the province’s curriculum. Any form of learning w...
Dad reporting daily COVID numbers to family with intensity of Wall Street day trader
TORONTO – For the past couple months, Mohamed Tekin has been diligently reporting daily COVID numbers to his family. However, within the last month, the father of three’s obsession with followin...
Toronto bar enforces occupancy limit by starting open mic night
TORONTO – With the current pandemic requiring businesses to restrict the number of people inside, the management of downtown bar McTavish’s Pub have determined the most natural way to do t...
Inspiring! These men aren’t voting for Trump and that’s really how low the bar is at this point
In these challenging times, it’s important to stop and notice people standing up for good and doing the right thing. That’s why we should be grateful that, on the eve of the election, hundreds of Repu...
