Ennio Morricone Passes Away in Prolonged Standoff
AMERICAN WILD WEST – Award-winning composer of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Ennio Morricone was found dead last night during a Mexican Standoff in a Civil War Graveyard. Prior to his p…
Trudeau just one ethics commissioner investigation away from free ethics commissioner investigation
OTTAWA – Having earned his third ethics commissioner investigation in 5 years, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is now just one more investigation away from a freebie. “A lot of people say tho…
But if we abolish police who will cut the line at Tim Hortons?
By: Denis Williams As many across this great nation have called for abolishing police forces, I find myself wondering what a world would look like without cops. Perhaps most disturbingly, I wonde…
Trudeau punishes UN by sending them most boring ambassador he could think of
OTTAWA – Following the UN decision to not give Canada the Security Council seat Justin Trudeau spent years campaigning for, Trudeau has responded by naming Bob Rae, the least exciting ambas…
Fruit fly just wants to suck and fuck on your watermelon rinds
KITCHENER, ON – A notorious fruit fly that has been pestering the home of a local couple, has finally been captured early this morning. When his motives were questioned, the fruit fly simpl…
Media outlets that just committed to anti-racism stance take cheat day to praise white terrorist
OTTAWA — Despite widespread commitments last month to confront systemic racism within journalism, Canadian media outlets have allowed themselves a quick cheat day to praise the armed, white terro…
Trump says Biden’s poll numbers wouldn’t be so high if they stopped testing voters
Washington D.C. – US president Trump has issued a statement saying that Democratic Party nominee Joe Biden is only polling ahead of him because they are asking voters for their opinion. “Th…
Ethics watchdog to investigate Trudeau government giving $900 million to WWE
OTTAWA – Ethics Commissioner Mario Dion has begun investigating Prime Minister Justin Trudeau over the Liberals’ choice to provide $900 million to WWE to administer the government’s summer …
Edmonton CFL team doubles down by adding Confederate flag
EDMONTON – Expressing their contempt for what they call “football-hating social justice warriors,” Edmonton Eskimos management have added a Confederate flag to their logo. Management explai…
Black Lives Matter lawn sign is white neighbourhood’s most esteemed activist
OTTAWA — Residents of Westpointe, a suburban neighbourhood known for being very very white, are taking a stand against anti-Black racism thanks to a local activist they call “the most distinguish…
