Summer camp closure leaves masked killer with too much free time

VANCOUVER, BC – With the cancellation of summer camp programs across the country, escaped murderer Billy Webber is finding himself unsure of how we will spend the season without a fresh bat…

Medical Workers hoping to receive PPE hand-me-downs from riot police

NEW YORK CITY – In the wake of Black Lives Matter protestors being confronted by heavily armed and even heavier PPE-d riot police, dangerously under-funded medical workers fighting COVID-19…

Woman that has been silent all week about BLM perpetuates silence with Blackout Tuesday post

TORONTO – In an attempt to show her solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement, Krista Hamilton posted a black square to her Instagram despite having remained silent all week. “I reall…

Feminism Win! This female cop also sucks ass

In what many are heralding as a diversity win, police officer Danica Greer is defying traditional gender roles by proving that female cops can be just as big pieces of shit as their male cohorts.…

United States deploys troops to politically unstable nation of the United States

WASHINGTON, DC- The United States government announced today that it will send active duty troops to the chaos plagued country of the United States to help quell the growing civic unrest. “Americ…

Trudeau promises to be aware of systemic racism in Canada as long as he doesn’t have to do anything about it

OTTAWA – As demonstrations erupted this week across the continent and the world to protest racism and police brutality, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau today made it clear that he is aware of…

It’s not fair to judge all police officers based on the few bad apples we violently defend at all costs

By: Sgt. Larry Weathers, Minneapolis PD In the wake of the unfortunate passing of George Floyd, protests have started around the country demanding justice for Mr. Floyd, and accusing police offic…

ANTIFA surprised to discover it is an organization

VARIOUS LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD – Following President Donald Trump’s announcement that the United States is designating ANTIFA as a terrorist organization, the loosely connected individu…

Hyper-realistic sex doll will now masturbate itself to orgasm afterwards

SAN DIEGO – A California based company known for its sex toys and other mature playthings has recently announced the launch of their newest sex doll which simulates hyper-realistic sexual e…

White man pretty sure he needs to weigh in on this conversation

TORONTO – As racial tensions rise and the far right attacks the rights of women and the LGBTQ community local Caucasian male Robert Wiser finally feels he has been silent for long enough. “…