Restrictions remain in place for Ontarians who can’t afford cottages
ORILLIA – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced that COVID-19 restrictions will still remain in place during the Victoria Day Weekend for those unable to afford cottages. “For those of yo…
5 best ways to celebrate frontline workers so you go viral
In these uncertain times that are so full of uncertainty we are all feeling an enormous amount of gratitude for the people at the frontlines of the fight against COVID-19. And we want to find a w…
Opinion: Why I’m boycotting Amazon unless I get bored or want something
In recent months, Amazon’s numerous infractions have become almost too big to ignore. As labour violations mount, I no longer feel comfortable giving them my business which is why I’ve bravely de…
UK government advises residents to pick up cricket bat, wait by door for coronavirus
LONDON – Expanding on the U.K. government’s new advice that the public deal with the ongoing health threat of COVID-19 by “staying alert,” Prime Minister Boris Johnson is also recommending …
Report: hottest post-quarantine trend for couples will be separate vacations
VANCOUVER – Although the lockdown may not be fully resolved until 2021, many Canadians are already fantasizing about the trips they will take post-COVID, and the freedom that will bring fro…
OPINION: It’s time to reopen the Ark of the Covenant
As we all know, we are in the middle of a singularly unique crisis right now. The world is hurting and needs help. That is why it’s the time for us to quit acting like wimps and fully reopen the …
“Nothing can harm me now,” states Tim Hortons employee behind flimsy plastic sheet
Scarborough, ON – Local Tim Hortons employee Jim Matthews feels invincible after his management has installed a thin plastic sheet in front of his register. “I’ve never felt so powerful,” s…
Thorough catcaller tells all mask-wearing women to smile
TORONTO – As more and more women don face masks in an attempt to protect themselves and others from the novel coronavirus, catcallers across the city are finding themselves growing increasingly f…
“Yes, but so many seniors are still alive,” says Premier Legault
QUEBEC CITY – Quebec Premier François Legault defended his government’s decision to re-open schools, businesses, and private care homes despite the COVID-19 pandemic by pointing out that th…
Spine of woman crouched in front of laptop achieves Golden Ratio
MARKHAM, ON – In the act of crouching over her laptop for hours on end, Salma Kuchis managed to finally curl her spine perfectly into the approximation of the Golden Ratio. “Here I was thin…
