TORONTO – Postmedia’s flagship publication is making a stalwart effort at pretending to care about environmental issues such as scrutinizing Justin Trudeau’s promise to plant 2 billion trees by 2029.
The National Post, a right-wing newspaper best known for giving a platform to climate change deniers, appeared to be holding the Prime Minister and cabinet into account for a non-trivial climate change issue.
“Wait, are we supposed to actually care about this?” said a confused reporter penning the story. “This is not our usual oil and gas related content…Who purchased this for us to write?”
Staff writers were forced to re-write the first draft of the article after automatically writing a four page expose attacking Greta Thunberg for using a non-organic pacifier as an infant.
“Should we spin it on how the 2 billion trees should be cut down for paper products?” asked the news desk writer to his editor. “I’m still not getting this story.”
“We’ll have to run like 20 Rex Murphy editorials to make up for this,” replied the editor who will be unexpectedly laid off at the end of the day.