Senator Lynn Beyak: I didn’t know donating to Trump was illegal, I thought it was just racist
OTTAWA – Senator Lynn Beyak is in trouble once again, but she wants to assure the Canadian public who pay her $157,600 yearly salary that breaking American election law was never her intent…
Adorable? This cow and dog are best friends but the cow keeps feeding the dog QAnon propaganda
Times are tough! There’s no denying that. To begin to list through everything that’s been causing us stress this year would be redundant, we get it. But we wanted to show you that there is still …
Travel Alberta ad invites tourists to marvel at crumbling public health care system
CALGARY – A new set of ads released by Alberta’s tourism agency is wooing tourists to visit the province’s decaying public health care system. Striking support workers, exhausted nurses, an…
Baby’s first word is “CRA is experiencing longer than normal call volume…”
MONCTON – Local baby, Margaret O’Connor-Williams, has reportedly uttered “CRA is experiencing longer than normal call volume” as her first word due to her parents having been on hold with t…
Premier Ford grants university status to “The End is Nigh” sign guy
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has granted university status to a local rambling proselytizer known for his public outspokenness. The University of Repent Sinners or Burn in Hell will …
“Athletes have the easiest job ever,” says man who would cry if his employer traded him to Winnipeg
Mississauga, ON – Local supply chain middle-manager Arnold Buckler has come under fire for recently stating his belief that athletes have the easiest job ever. This statement was made despi…
Study: 90% of Canadians unable to say name Fabricland without immediately repeating it faster and louder
TORONTO – A new study by the University of Toronto has found that, thanks to radio and tv jingles, the vast majority of Canadians are unable to say the name of cloth merchant Fabricland wit…
Coney Barrett ends confirmation ceremony by accidentally deciding election for Trump 1 week early
WASHINGTON D.C. – Appearing at the White House for her swearing-in as a Supreme Court Justice, Amy Coney Barrett committed a humorous gaffe wherein she accidentally decided the upcoming US …
Demand for Bubble Boy halloween costume reaches all-time high
OTTAWA – As spooky aficionados seek out creative ways to celebrate Halloween while practicing social distancing, an unlikely costume candidate has become popular: Jake Gyllenhaal’s characte…
Premier Scott Moe projected to pass roadside breathalyzer test
REGINA – The Beaverton is projecting that Scott Moe will pass his roadside breathalyzer test making him the next premier of Saskatchewan. RCMP who pulled over the Sask Party Leader recorded…
