Over the past year and a half, COVID-19 has upended our lives in ways previously unfathomable to even the wildest, gayest imaginations. Pride celebrations have moved online, and if Drag Race Season 9 ...
Experts advise house hunting millennials to stop buying lattes and start forming exploitative development groups
TORONTO – After Core Development Group announced plans to buy a billion dollars worth of Canadian homes and convert them into rental units, financial advisers are telling millennials in the housing ma...
Doug Ford invokes second notwithstanding clause making it illegal to criticize him for invoking notwithstanding clause
TORONTO – After using the notwithstanding clause to pass a bill designed to stop teachers’ and nurses’ unions from running ads criticizing him, Doug Ford and the Ontario PCs have now...
Side effects of trying to book a shot using Ontario’s vaccination system worse than side effects of the vaccines
TORONTO – According to research by Health Canada, the health side effects of trying to book a vaccine appointment using Ontario’s vaccine registration portal are actually worse for you tha...
Jason Kenney refuses to remove John A. MacDonald poster from bedroom
EDMONTON, AB- Despite continuous public outcry and numerous petitions, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney remains adamant that he will not have a poster depicting Sir John A. MacDonald taken down from his b...
Ford invokes Notwithstanding Clause to prevent people from pointing out what a fucking piece of shit he is
TORONTO – Doug Ford invoked the Notwithstanding Clause yesterday in order to pass an unconstitutional bill restricting outside parties from telling voters what an absolute piece of shit he is up...
Fully vaccinated grandparents descend on nation’s strip clubs
OTTAWA – As elderly Canadians receive their second COVID vaccine before younger citizens, hordes of thirsty seniors are flooding into the nation’s strip clubs. “I spent quarantine worrying I’d had my ...
Ontario vaccination registration web-designers unprepared for possibility of people using site
TORONTO – After the provincial vaccination website opened to residents looking to book their second dose became slow, unwieldy, and inaccurate, web-designers hired for the job confronted the unf...
Thousands of losers wait in line for retail stores rather than have everything shipped to them by evil conglomerate
TORONTO – As retail stores opened in Ontario this weekend, thousands of losers, nobodies and morons chose to stand in line to buy items from retail stores instead of just ordering everything fro...
White man listing privileges starting to feel pretty accomplished
VANCOUVER, BC – Part-time twitch streamer Corey McIntosh was in the middle of outlining the unfair privileges he enjoys over others on Facebook when suddenly he began to feel pretty good about h...
