James Cameron finishes filming Avatar 4 before realizing he never made Avatar 2 or 3
LOS ANGELES – James Cameron has announced he has finished filming Avatar 4 right after realizing he never made Avatar 2 or Avatar 3. “I cannot wait for everyone to see what I have in store …
Arthur series to end with fan requested “Death of DW” episode
Eldwood City, Pennsylvania – After 25 seasons, the animated children’s series Arthur is finally coming to an end with an ending producers insist “fans will love.” “After 25 seasons, we’ve d…
NHL’s plan to become league that only caters to MRAs, alt-right trolls and creepy uncles going great
TORONTO – The NHL is reporting progress in their plan to drive away all but their most disturbed and depraved fans by choosing to support sexual offenders and violent, racist trolls. “…
Alberta relaxes COVID precautions, demands Trudeau build them a COVID pipeline for exports
EDMONTON – After announcing the removal of most COVID protocols despite rising case numbers, Alberta has publicly called on Ottawa to build them a pipeline expressly for exporting the virus…
Ford warns Ontario he’s not finished with term yet
QUEEN’S PARK – Despite continuously improving COVID numbers, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has put the province on notice not to let their guard down, as he currently remains in office. “…
Quiz: Are you living on the beach that makes you old or have you just not slept in a couple days?
M. Night Shyamalan is back with a new thriller that blurs the line between fiction and reality as we, the audience, start to question whether we are living on some sort of plain that makes one ag…
Conservative Party accuses opposition of secretly founding Conservative Party to make Conservative Party look bad
OTTAWA – In a shocking move, Conservative leaders have accused opposition parties of secretly founding the Conservative Party, as part of an elaborate, decades-long scheme to make the Conse…
Real-life Garfield? This cat ate a lasagna and died
REGINA – Boris, an orange Persian cat, wowed his neighbourhood with his uncanny resemblance to Garfield by eating an entire lasagna before dying from diet-induced health issues. “Everyone loved t…
John Tory gets haircut after receiving assurance that homeless people will not be given the clippings for warmth
TORONTO – After many months of growing his hair out, Toronto mayor John Tory has finally gotten his hair trimmed after painstaking measures to ensure that the newly shorn locks will not be …
Coolest cousin ages into cautionary tale
WINNIPEG – This week 15 year old Adam Black was sad to realize that his favourite cousin James “DirtBag” Carl had aged from an ultra-cool-free-spirit hipster to an objectively sad and cauti…
