Donald Rumsfeld to finally get chance to confront Saddam Hussein
THE AFTERLIFE – Former U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who died today at the age of 88, will reportedly get his long-awaited chance to confront deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein…
Exasperated nerds threaten to talk about history of Suriname until hockey fans shut up
OTTAWA ― With the Stanley Cup Finals underway, the Canadian Civil Organization of Nerds (CanCON) has warned that the usual non-stop talk about the NHL will be met with swift retaliation this year…
Vaccine-hesitant man now forced to pick from weird brands he’s never heard of
MOOSEJAW, SK — After months of hemming and hawing, local pipe-fitter Alvin Cummings finally booked his first-dose vaccination at a local clinic and upon arriving was dismayed to learn that they n…
“So I can’t wish people a ‘Happy Canada Day’ anymore?” asks man who has literally never done that
Bradford, ON – Local man Gerry Framer is outraged that the collective reckoning over whether Canada is a country that deserves to be celebrated in light of the atrocities we have committed …
Local man in line confusingly announces he won’t be tipping his vaccine nurse
WESTMOUNT, QC – Local resident Glerbert Memps was waiting in line to receive his first COVID vaccine shot when he loudly announced to the strangers behind him that he would definitely not b…
Doctor unsure if woman has Munchausen Syndrome or if she’s faking it
ANN ARBOR- A medical mystery is plaguing local family physician Dr. Kyle Bryan as he debates a diagnosis of either Munchausen Syndrome or faking it. “Yeah, it’s a real challenge,” said Dr Bryan a…
Ford’s other daughter Kyra to rework the name of her shop, Swastika Sweets
ETOBICOKE – It’s been a week of changes for Ford family businesses with the pivot of KyKy Kookies to KyKy’s Cookies and Ice Cream and now, an apology and promise of change from Kyra Ford, o…
5 tips for reporting on unprecedented weather without mentioning climate change
Thanks to the climate chaos unleashed by global warming, extreme weather is getting more press now than ever. This can put journalists like you in quite a pickle if you’re writing about these dea…
Catholic church asked to keep in mind the good arson has done
KAMLOOPS – Reeling from a series of suspicious fires across British Columbia, the Catholic Church was reminded of the good that arson has also done. “While it is possible to use fire to sys…
Report: you can still get drunk and enjoy day off without it being in honour of Canada
OTTAWA – A new report has found that, despite what the media and your uncle claim, it is still possible to get drunk and enjoy July 1st without it being in honour of the country responsible…
