Alberta’s COVID restrictions to continue for six more weeks after Jason Kenney sees his shadow

EDMONTON – Alberta’s contentious plan to lift all its COVID restrictions in the middle of a new wave of infections brought on by the Delta variant has been postponed for six weeks after Pre…

Public health advisory urges British Columbians to avoid staying inside, going outside

VANCOUVER – Vancouver Coastal Health and Fraser Health have issued a joint public health advisory today urging British Columbians to avoid staying inside due to extreme heat, and also to av…

Conservative Party bitterly derides upcoming election as “big popularity contest”

OTTAWA — With rumours of an imminent Fall election swirling, the Conservative Party of Canada strongly voiced their objections against the entire course of action calling it “completely unjust an…

Local man gets sexy little tingle from pointing out shots that were in trailer but not movie

VAUGHAN, ON – Local accountant Shawn Kronbach recently revealed that he feels a sexy spine tingle every time he tells someone about shots that were in the film trailer but not in the film i…

I’m not an anti-vaxxer, I’m just refusing to get a life-saving vaccine during a global pandemic

By: Lyle Vucevic Every time the media describes the thousands of unvaccinated Canadians they talk about us like we are all absurd granola crunching hippies or right-wing Qanon truthers. And frank…

“Mysterious fog nothing to worry about,” says weatherman who died 20 years ago

DEEPWATER COVE, B.C. – Residents of Deepwater Cove are being reassured by Milo Saunders, a local meteorologist who was consistently voted the most trusted man in town until his untimely dea…

NDP announces platform in 500 separate TikTok videos

TORONTO – NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh has unveiled his party’s platform in hundreds of one to three minute TikTok videos ranging from universal pharmacare to taxing the super rich. In one vide…

Conservatives outraged by new requirement of “a passport” to travel

OTTAWA – Canadian conservatives are throwing heavy criticism at the federal government for mandating passports for international travel. “What a terrible inconvenience our government has in…

Maclean’s Curse strikes again

WINNIPEG – With Jason Kenney resigning, another victim has fallen to the might of the Maclean’s Resistance Cover curse. “I knew when Andrew and Brian went down that the rest of …

Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister announces he will embarrass province for another two years

WINNIPEG – Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister announced his action plan to humiliate the province for the next two years before he resigns in 2023. The premier made the announcement immediate…