HALIFAX – Following a trying summer of forest fires and floods, Halifax once again scrambles to ready themselves for its next force majeure: the annual deluge of wealthy Ontarians to Dalhou…
Nova Scotia
Atlantic Canadians finally learn the secret ingredient in Chris Brothers pepperoni: Chris’s Brother
HALIFAX – The Atlantic provinces are abuzz at the news that the region’s favourite deli, Chris Brothers, has finally revealed the secret to its famed pepperoni: Chris’s brother. Speaking fr…
Desperate Nova Scotians sacrifice Theodore Tugboat to raging wildfire
HALIFAX – As multiple wildfires continue to burn across the province, Nova Scotians have decided as a last-ditch effort to sacrifice beloved life-sized children’s character Theodore Tugboat…
Nova Scotia Power clarifies residents can always take their business to another monopoly
HALIFAX – Following frustration in response to Nova Scotia Power’s announcement of a 14% rate hike, the CEO of the province’s energy monopoly insists unhappy customers are free to deal with…
Halifax Oyster Fest mascot and Woody the Christmas Tree battle for control of harbour
HALIFAX – Scores of Haligonians were forced to evacuate their homes and business this morning as Pearl, the grotesque Oyster Fest mascot, and Woody, the horrifying talking Christmas tree, e…
Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston insists healthcare system is in great shape as long as you don’t need healthcare
HALIFAX – In a press conference Wednesday, Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston insisted that reports of Nova Scotia’s crumbling healthcare system have been overblown, and that the province’s he…
Nova Scotia warned storm could reduce services to New Brunswick levels
HALIFAX – With Hurricane Fiona recently upgraded to a category 4 storm, officials are warning that power and service outages could drop to dangerous New Brunswick levels. “I won’t lie, thin…
Nova Scotian school changes name from ‘Prince Andrew’ to more respectable ‘Randy from Trailer Park Boys High’
DARTMOUTH, NS – In the wake of Prince Andrew’s involvement with the ongoing Jeffrey Epstein sex scandal, a local high school will no longer be named after the disgraced royal and will inste…
38-year-old father of two excited for Christmas scratch n’ win card from his mommy
BEDFORD, NS – Local engineer and father of two Douglas Clyborne has spent the last week telling everyone how excited he is to open his stocking on Christmas morning and receive his yearly s…
Nova Scotian mall insists giant tree will only eat “3 to 4 kids, max” this Christmas
DARTMOUTH, NS – With international media picking up the story of “the creepiest Christmas tree of 2021”, administrators at Mic Mac Mall have assured shoppers that Woody will consume no more…