Jason Kenney vows to protect Alberta’s vulnerable COVID industry

EDMONTON – Alberta premier Jason Kenney announced today that his administration will work tirelessly to make sure the province’s booming COVID business stays prosperous. “If we allow the Tr…

Alberta justice minister asks police chief to quash independent probe into Alberta justice minister

EDMONTON – Alberta MLA Kaycee Madu has called on Police Chief Dale MacFee to “help take care of” an independent probe into the incident where Madu called on Chief MacFee after receiving a t…

Inclusivity Win! The green M&M is getting an abortion

VIRGINIA – Mars, Incorporated, the company behind M&Ms, announced yesterday that it would be making a concerted effort to make its popular colourful candy more globally relatable and in…

Putin unsure if he’s in mood for Cold War or World War

MOSCOW – As a mustered force of 100,000 Russian soldiers stands by at the Ukrainian border, Russian President Vladimir Putin was reportedly spotted at his Novo-Ogaryevo residence debating t…

Ontario to reopen in-person dining on January 31st and then again on April 10th

TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has just announced that restaurants and bars will be able to open indoor dining at reduced capacity on January 31st and then, following another lockdown …

Beijing confirms they won’t cancel Winter Olympics since they already rented extra chairs

BEIJING – Officials from Beijing and the International Olympic Committee (IOC) confirmed this week that the 2022 Winter Olympics won’t be cancelled amidst rising COVID cases, as they have a…

Wow! These 5 iconic Toronto landmarks would be even better as weed shops

TORONTO – We toured Toronto and discovered five iconic Toronto landmarks that would definitely be more loved as weed shops. Madison Avenue Pub – At 450 meters from the nearest weed st…

Inspiring! This man has already completed his resolution to draw more fanart of Sonic the Hedgehog pregnant

CALGARY – According to local sources, 34-year-old Damien Wilkes has already completed his New Year’s resolution to draw more fanart of Sonic the Hedgehog heavy with child.  “Last year I resolved …

Beijing’s claims 1st Omicron case ‘arrived through mail’ refuted by anyone who has ever used Canada Post

TORONTO – Claims that the first case of the Omicron variant reported in Beijing ‘arrived on a parcel sent from Canada’ are being met with heavy skepticism by the scientific community as wel…

Inspiring! This cat sensed its owner was about to have a seizure so it clawed his face and pissed on the carpet

TORONTO, ON ― Another pet has gone from cuddly companion to a life-saving hero after Peter Barkley’s cat Sprinkles sprung into action before he had a seizure. “It’s true that Sprinkles does often…