Canada to ban foreign homebuyers who refuse to set up dummy corporations

OTTAWA – The Federal Government has announced sweeping plans to ban the purchase of Canadian homes by any foreign buyers who don’t feel like bothering to set up a routine dummy corporation.…

Inspiring!! Man finally takes 45 seconds to unsubscribe from a 10 year old mailing list

“I did it!!, I finally did it!!” exclaimed local man Chimothee Talamet, as he finally took 45 seconds out of his day of a cushy white collar job and playing video games to unsubscribe from his co…

Vanilla yogurt holds slight lead in Conservative leadership opinion polls

OTTAWA – A rather bland Conservative leadership candidate has gained a slight lead in opinion polls, according to the latest survey data. Leger polling suggests a tub of vanilla yogurt is enjoyin…

Urban obstacle course installed for men to jump high and touch stuff

TORONTO – City officials cut the ribbon on the Parks Department’s most recent project this weekend; an urban obstacle course where men can jump real high and touch stuff.  The course resemb…

Conservative Leadership Candidate Profile: Pierre Poilievre

Background: Poilievre was born wearing a suit, glasses and a sneer. He immediately used his first words to tell the doctor who delivered him everything she had done wrong. He subsequently studied…

New law forbids tourists from leaving Montreal until they eat a poutine

MONTREAL – Montreal Mayor Valerie Plante announced a new measure where tourists will no longer be allowed to leave the city limits unless they have eaten one of the city’s signature dishes,…

Report: Only way to settle Matthews v. McDavid debate is when they’re both playing for the Leafs

TORONTO – As the debate rages about who is the best player in the NHL: Auston Matthews or Connor McDavid, experts are saying there is no real way to properly settle the debate until they bo…

Feel old yet? All the puppets from Mr. Dressup are now dead

It’s the end of an era in Canadian media – the final puppet from beloved children’s program Mr. Dressup has just passed away. Annie, the granddaughter of co-star Granny, died early th…

New Tesla safety feature requires user retweet Elon Musk to start vehicle

AUSTIN, TX — On the heels of news that Elon Musk had become Twitter’s single largest shareholder, Tesla Motors has unveiled a new safety feature requiring the driver to demonstrate being ca…

Employer successfully schedules return to office for peak of new COVID wave yet again

TORONTO – Local consulting firm J.P. Binderschlatz & Co. has once again asked it’s 40 employees to return to work in-office right at the peak of the latest COVID wave. “We&#…