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Trudeau promises to stop swearing in House of Commons if it’ll keep you stupid cunts happy
OTTAWA – After being accused of dropping an f-bomb during Parliamentary proceedings, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has promised to no longer swear in the House of Commons if that’s really w…
Local man’s targeted ads getting sadder by the day
OTTAWA – 32 year old Bradley Chad reports noticing that his targeted ads are getting sadder and unfortunately more accurate by the day. “I know way too much about all the latest breakthroug…
US Supreme Court celebrates Mandatory Mother’s Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The US Supreme Court will mark Mandatory Mother’s Day in light of their recent draft decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. Six members of the court thanked moms everywhere fr…
Conservatives reassure Canadians they will not enact an abortion ban until they finish packing Supreme Court
OTTAWA – In the wake of a leaked decision overturning Roe v. Wade, Canadian Conservatives are promising Canadians that they won’t seek to enact the abortion bans soon to be forthcomin…
TSN expanding coverage of criminally under-talked-about city of Toronto
TORONTO — Citing a dearth of centre-of-the-universe-centric content, TSN is boosting its coverage of Toronto. In announcing the move, President Steve Johnson said it was an effort to shine a dese…
Samuel Alito cringes at typo in leaked draft accidentally referring to women as “people”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has expressed frustration at an error in his leaked opinion on a pivotal abortion rights case in which he erroneously referred to women …
Delta and Omicron variants jealous that younger XE strain gets away with anything it wants
TORONTO – The Delta and Omicron variants are reportedly upset that they had to deal with the provincial government’s rules and regulations, whereas the younger XE subvariant gets to run wil…
Feminist Win! Supreme Court abortion draft validates what women have been screaming about for years
WASHINGTON D.C. — After a draft opinion was leaked from the Supreme Court yesterday stating the Court’s intention to overturn Roe v. Wade, feminists across the country celebrated finally be…
Wanna see some photos of a kid you don’t know, ya freakin’ weirdos?
Looking for photos of Princess Charlotte, a child you’ve never met, and never will meet? You’ve come to the right place. Here’s a great photo of this child, whose only claim to fame is that…
