Ocean bird choking on plastic straw still agrees paper straws are the worst
VANCOUVER – In a rare interview, a sea bird floating off the pacific coast of British Columbia has confirmed that, although it is currently struggling to breathe around plastic straw wedged…
Reports circulate about Toronto having some kind of mayoral election
TORONTO – Unsubstantiated reports have begun to circulate throughout the metro area that some kind of municipal election may be taking place, quite possibly right under residents’ noses. “I…
This episode of Family Feud Canada features cast of two more CBC shows you won’t watch
TORONTO – Hold on to your hats Canada, this latest season of Family Feud Canada you won’t watch is kicking off with a special all-star episode featuring the cast of two more CBC shows you w…
Danielle Smith graciously admits that genocide might be as bad as antivaxxers not getting to go to the movies
EDMONTON – Danielle Smith made international headlines during her first day as premier of Alberta by claiming that the unvaccinated are the most discriminated-against group she’d ever seen,…
Out of respect to victims’ families, Ryan Murphy to donate portion of Dahmer profits to anyone who ever watched Glee
LOS ANGELES – In response to criticism of insensitivity toward victims, Dahmer showrunner Ryan Murphy has vowed to donate a portion of his series profits to anyone who ever watched Glee. “I see n…
Alberta Tories excuse Danielle Smith’s ignorance of history by reminding us she is a product of the education system they built
EDMONTON – After Alberta’s Premier-designate, Danielle Smith, called unvaccinated people “the most discriminated group that I’ve ever witnessed,” members of her United Con…
Alberta Premier Danielle Smith honours oppressed anti-vaxxers by marking 2 minutes of coughing
EDMONTON – Honouring those who refused to be vaccinated, newly sworn-in Premier Danielle Smith has called for two minutes of coughing to recognize their overlooked contributions to overwhel…
Hockey Canada board resigns in deference to real victims: Tim Hortons, Nike and Canadian Tire
TORONTO – Hockey Canada’s CEO and board of directors have resigned and finally acknowledged the true victims of a long ordeal that has damaged the sport’s reputation – its corporate s…
Woman tilting her head in art gallery must really know her shit
OTTAWA – Darcy Chen’s first visit to the National Gallery of Canada quickly became sidetracked by the appearance of a mystery woman whose subtle head movement indicated she knew more about …
