Netflix prepares to release prisoners taken during the streaming wars
LOS GATOS, CA – Last week, Netflix posted on their website the release dates of all the prisoners of war they’ve taken throughout the multi-year conflict known as the streaming wars. “With …
Candling session loosens man’s ear wax and extracts three-masted model ship
SAULT STE MARIE — Local high school teacher Matt Giordano received quite the surprise on Tuesday when an ear candling session not only removed a quantity of built-up wax from his ear canal, but e…
New Movie: Alexander Skarsgard, Peter Sarsgaard guard stars in Star Guards
HOLLYWOOD – Gossip is buzzing this week about a new tentpole film release set for next year: Star Guards, starring Skarsgard and Sarsgaard. A synopsis of the film, which dropped Tuesday on the pr…
DUMB WEEK: ABBA reunion delayed due to highly infectious Mamma Mia! variant
SWEDEN – The long-awaited reunion of Swedish supergroup ABBA has been delayed due to the latest iteration of the novel coronavirus, the highly infectious Mamma Mia! variant. ABBA reunited in 2022…
Report: Preparing Christmas turkey closest thing dad has had to sex in years
ST. JOHNS, NF- Local father of 3 Jake O’Leary confirmed speculation that getting the turkey ready for Christmas dinner is by far the most arousing activity he has done in roughly seven years. “It…
Report: grandchildren can’t wait to greet grandma by accidentally kissing her on the lips
OTTAWA – A national report was released stating that Canadian grandchildren are ecstatic at the possibility of greeting grandma this holiday season, by accidentally kissing her on the lips.…
BREAKING: Home invader plans to kiss your wife
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Society recognizes Jewish holiday which is close to Christmas
OTTAWA – Keeping an impressive streak of consecutive years alive, society has once again noticed the existence of Hannukah solely due to its proximity to Christmas. “It’s so nice to see that they…
Uh oh: Friend’s Christmas sweater was not intentionally ugly
FREDERICTON, NB – Local barista Maya Reilly snuffed out the Christmas spirit last Saturday when she mistook her friend’s sweater as being part of the annual Ugly Sweater competition at thei…
