Annoying writers exclaim ‘news brief’ following any observation they make
THE BEAVERTON – Two self-absorbed writers for a Canadian fake news publication believe nearly everything they say is worth publishing for the enjoyment of others. Anytime one of the writers says …
Joey Votto: ‘Can I have $10 million now?’
CINCINNATI, OH – In a telephone conversation with his agent shortly after winning the National League MVP, Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto repeatedly asked if he was now going to e…
University nerds to launch Naked Girl Rover
TORONTO – University of Toronto nerds announced earlier today plans to launch a small rover to the women’s change room in the university’s Athletic Centre late in 2011. The Naked Girl Rover…
I can slide rule your ass under the table
By Donald Testa Sr., Professor of Engineering Queen’s University Quick, what’s 529 divided by 23? What’s the matter, forget your 23 times table, you miserable excuse for an engineering graduate? …
TTC Union and makers of Grand Theft Auto team up to create realistic video game full of delays
OAKVILLE, ON – Rockstar Games, famous for its critically acclaimed “Grand Theft Auto” video game series, has teamed up with the Toronto Transit Commission workers’ union to crea…
Thanks again for letting me see your breasts last night
By David Dickie Hi Katherine. It’s me, David. How’s it going? Oh really? Well that’s good to hear. So listen, I just wanted to call you to let you know I had a really good time …
