TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs got revenge by throwing the Air Canada Centre’s Zamboni at the three Leafs fans who threw their jerseys onto the ice at Monday’s game against t…
Sports
Jonathan Bernier praises Magic Johnson for ending apartheid
TORONTO – Following an interview in which he claimed that Nelson Mandela was one of the athletes he grew up watching, Toronto Maple Leafs goalie Jonathan Bernier went on to state his admira…
God asks Jean Béliveau for two autographs, one for his son
HEAVEN’S GATES – After his recent passing, legendary Montreal Canadiens Jean Béliveau has already received a request for two autographs by God. “Holy flying Buddha!” exclaimed the deity for…
Report: Mark Messier somewhere inside the house
North Bay, ON – Although there has been no confirmed sighting, the Cameron family are convinced that NHL legend and friendly faced Rogers spokesman Mark Messier is somewhere in their house,…
Saskatchewan newlyweds fined for not wearing Roughriders jerseys in wedding photos
CARNDUFF, SK – Newlyweds Aimee and Nigel Toupin received a hefty fine from the provincial government this week for not wearing Saskatchewan Roughriders jerseys in any of their wedding photo…
Parents throw jerseys onto ice frustrated with struggling Timbits hockey team
PARRY SOUND – A struggling amateur hockey team for five and six year-olds has been dealt another blow after their disillusioned parents began throwing their Timbits fan jerseys onto the ice…
Only high school football player without concussion clearly not trying hard enough
CHATHAM, ON – While his high school team made the playoffs, a grade 11 linebacker has shown little effort in scoring a concussion this season. 16 year-old Chad Donaldson has repeatedly miss…
NFL successfully raises awareness about biggest threat to women, other than players
NEW YORK – The NFL has declared themselves victorious in this month’s Pink Ribbon campaign to raise awareness about breast cancer, a disease that poses the biggest threat to women’s h…
Montreal Canadiens: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Montreal Canadiens Mascot: Two. First, Youppi the former Expo mascot, purchased back from the new american owners of the MLB team, that allows fans to recall the glory days when the city wa…
Calgary Flames: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Calgary Flames Mascot: That kid from the Scotiabank commercial with Jarome Iginla 2013-14 Season: Fans rejoiced as the team that was supposed to be the worst in the NHL finished a respectab…
