QUEBEC CITY- After blankly standing around for several moments, late breaking reports indicate that local man John Grigio finally remembers why he went into this room. “He was just standing in fr…
Local
Halifax donair prepares to spend winter in man’s colon
HALIFAX – A recently-ordered extra large donair with the works is currently undergoing preparations to spend the winter months lodged in the colon of local call centre employee Justin MacIs…
6-year-old awakens from sugar-crash covered in temporary tattoos
GATINEAU, QC – After slowly coming to from a sugar-crash-induced nap, 6-year-old Phillippe Watkins was surprised to discover his body covered in temporary Cars 3 tattoos that he had no memo…
Local man finds romantic success by texting unsolicited dog pics
KINGSTON, ON – Reports from yesterday evening have found that 26-year-old Tommy Freen has come across unprecedented courting success by switching out pictures of his penis that no one asked…
Hero cat saves entire family from full night of sleep
NANAIMO, BC – The Russell family was saved from another full night of sleep when their cat, Mittens began meowing for no apparent reason at 4 in the morning. “We were all just peacefully laying i…
Local artist asked what she actually does
HALIFAX – After meeting a new teammate at a recent pub trivia night, professional sculptor Diana Wagner was asked by fellow player Norman Scheck what she does, only for her answer to be bou…
Woman who actually finishes screenplay in coffee shop immediately spills coffee on laptop
VANCOUVER- For the first time in coffee shop history, a local woman, Sandra Carins, 26, actually completed a screenplay, one she had been working on for the past six years, only to immediately kn…
BREAKING: Local dog feeling great
KAMLOOPS — Late-breaking reports indicate local golden retriever, Max, is loving life and is just having the best day. “Woof! Woof!” shouted Max the dog to a crowd of fascinated onlookers a…
Hobo sick of floating towards the scent of a pie only to arrive at some vaping teen
VANCOUVER – Not everyone approves of the shift toward smoke-free tobacco alternatives, including one hobo who says he’s sick and tired of floating through the air towards the smell of fresh…
Female greenhouse employee breaks glass ceiling, immediately fired
MARKHAM, ON- A local greenhouse has had both its gender barrier and several safety regulations broken today, as longtime employee Nora Molsen did what was said could never be done by a woman; sha…
