VANCOUVER – Based on evidence discovered in a weekly, semi-formal, update email from your aging father, experts believe he may be curious about and in the process of learning more about the…
Culture
Hate group sticking with stupid name “Proud Boys”
NEW YORK CITY – Despite mounting pressure from other hate groups, the self described, ”pro-Western fraternal organization,” Proud Boys, will be sticking with that incredibly stupid name. “A…
Royals fuck
LONDON, UK – Following much speculation about the bedroom activities of royal family members Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the couple’s Kensington Palace office recently confirmed that th…
Woman’s sole purpose is to impress her teen neighbour with outfit
HAMILTON, ON — Local woman Sidney Danskin finally admitted the truth to herself, that her sole purpose in life is to impress her teen neighbour Maddison Nicks with her clothing choices. “I’…
Men’s rights group insists Broadway musical change its name to “Pappa Pia”
NEW YORK CITY– Men’s Music Makers, a U.S. men’s rights group, has organized a boycott of famed Broadway smash Mamma Mia until creators change its name to the more masculine, “Pappa Pia”. “This is…
Jetsons reboot just family looking at their phones for 22 minutes
LOS ANGELES – Rebooting a nostalgic franchise for contemporary audiences, Hanna Barbera announced the latest incarnation of The Jetsons will include modern technology such as mobile phones,…
White friend just discovered this new show called “Atlanta”
KINGSTON, ON – Local white friend Conor Armstrong announced this week that he’s recently discovered an obscure new tv show called “Atlanta” — yeah, like the city. “It’s actually pretty good…
“James Bond can’t be black,” says man who believes Jesus was white
BROSSARD, QC – Amidst ongoing speculation over who will be cast as the titular character in the next James Bond film, one local man has offered his take on the issue by suggesting that Mr. …
Amazing Race Canada: Only 4 teams left after grueling Mexican drug mule detour
MEXICO CITY – Only four teams remain in one of Canada’s most popular reality based game show after contestants were required to smuggle 10 kilos of cocaine out of Mexico and into Canada. Th…
Louis CK locks door of Comedy Cellar, tells audience, “This will only take 7-10 minutes”
NEW YORK CITY – Audience members at New York’s famed Comedy Cellar reported that last night disgraced comedian Louis CK locked them in the room to watch him, insisting, “I promise it …
