HOLLYWOOD – Unwilling to accept a hostless ceremony, nine time Oscar host Billy Crystal has staged a coup to take control over the event. “How dare they!” screamed Crystal as he led a milit…
Culture
Netflix’s Bird Box sequel promises more birds, bigger box
HOLLYWOOD – After impressive viewing statistics, Netflix has announced a sequel to the Sandra Bullock film Bird Box, which promises “a lot more birds” and a “way bigger box.” “We assumed vi…
Unrealistic casino commercial features people having fun
Niagara Falls, ON – The regulatory organization Advertising Standards Canada has determined that a recent commercial for the Royal Niagara Casino is misleading due to the fact that it depic…
Maxime Bernier emerges as this season’s shady bitch who loves drama
OTTAWA – In response to an official tweet from Global Affairs Canada praising Canada’s first ever contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race, People’s Party leader Maxime Bernier posted a message com…
Marie Kondo readers can’t wait until her TV fans get to the ‘red wedding’
LOS GATOS, CA – After selling 1.5 million copies of her book, The life-changing magic of tidying up, organizational guru Marie Kondo is now the star of a Netflix series, Tidying Up with Mar…
Man who has consumed every Fyre Fest documentary and podcast now kinda wants to go to Fyre Fest
WINNIPEG — After watching both new documentaries about the infamous Fyre Fest, as well as copious other reporting, local barista Geoff Markson now wishes he could attend the disastrous musi…
Small-town theatre critic pans community production with 4.5 star review
GUELPH – Local theatre critic Gregory Stephens held nothing back reviewing a local production of Tennessee Williams’s “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” issuing a lowly 4.5 out of 5 stars. Unli…
White friend claims dreadlocks part of their cultural tradition of looking like a dumbass
St. Catharines, ON – Local white friend Caitlynn Matthews says her traditionally-Black hairstyle doesn’t count as cultural appropriation due to her family’s long-standing custom of looking like t…
Experts predict Black Panther and BlacKkKlansman will lose Best Picture to the one about a white guy who had a black friend once
LOS ANGELES – Following the recent announcement of the nominees for the Academy Awards, entertainment industry experts and Las Vegas oddsmakers agree that Black Panther and BlacKkKlansman a…
Film trailer boldly deploys “I Feel Good” by James Brown
MONCTON – A trailer for upcoming romantic comedy “Emma’s Love Letter” broke all boundaries this weekend when it opted to utilize James Brown’s “I Feel Good” to underscore clips from the film. “At…
