LOS GATOS, CA – After selling 1.5 million copies of her book, The life-changing magic of tidying up, organizational guru Marie Kondo is now the star of a Netflix series, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. The new series has attracted a new wave of fans, and created a new pastime for her devoted book readers: coyly observing their friends watching the show who are completely oblivious to the bloodbath that will ensue midway through the story.
“I am a big Kondohead from way back,” says Gerald Munsch of Medicine Hat, Alberta. “My wife, Renee, is only just getting into it now. She gets so excited about going through our belongings to see what will spark joy in her, and in my head I’m like, ‘Baby, you have no idea what nightmares are coming down the pipe.’ But I don’t want to ruin it for her.”
The event in question, on page 860 of the book, is commonly referred to by Kondoites as ‘The Red Wedding.’ It marks an abrupt shift in tone from the cheerful explanations of the feelings of socks to five pages of bloody carnage.
“The beginning of the book is very useful for people,” said Kondo through a translator. “But it only really gets truly inspiring during the last third, where I am organizing all the different body parts and seeing which of the heads of my enemies sparks joy. But please do not tell the TV viewers. They know nothing.”
Kondo book fans have been making plans to videotape their friends’ reactions to the pivotal episode, in the hopes of making a supercut that will go viral in the aftermath. Most longtime Kondo-minions agree that the red wedding will probably occur in the third season of the Netflix show, based on the series’ current rate of getting through about 25 pages of the book per season of TV.
While remaining tight-lipped about the specifics what happens later in the story, the one thing every single book reader did say is that, after reading about the red wedding, they have been convinced beyond all doubt that yes, you should throw out all your books.