It’s Halloween season again and we all know that what that means: horror movie marathons, delicious fun sized candy, and having to switch to your indoor sex swing. But bingeing on your favourite …
Liberals promise to govern like Conservatives since they won more votes
OTTAWA – The Liberal government has vowed that, in the interests of fairness, they will be governing like the party who won the greatest proportion of the popular vote in the recent electio…
Millions of votes thrown away under first-past-the-post system create massive ocean garbage patch
VICTORIA – Experts are bracing for a fresh deluge of unused votes from Canada’s federal election to make their way to the ocean and wreak havoc on marine life. “First-past-the post is a ver…
Alberta passes law prohibiting females under 18 from speaking without a license
EDMONTON – The Alberta government has pulled an all nighter hammering out a new law that forces all females under the age of majority to apply for and receive a government license before ex…
Man waking from four-year coma excited to vote in proportional representation election
CALGARY – Joe Francis, who has spent the last four years of his life in a state of unconsciousness following a traumatic brain injury, woke up this week and is very enthusiastic about getti…
Scheer: We must stop erasing Canadian history by learning about all of it
OTTAWA – During a campaign announcement that promised free attendance at Canadian museums, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer lamented the fact that political correctness is destroying Canad…
Climate protesters stymie police attempts to arrest them by becoming fossil fuel CEOs
HALIFAX – As protesters in several Canadian cities blocked bridges today to bring attention to the climate crisis, police were surprised and dismayed to discover that many of the protesters…
Financial experts say millennials will have to save an entire planet to retire
CALGARY – As the millennial generation gets closer to midlife and starts to make retirement plans, financial experts are warning that not only will they have to save twice as much money as …
Conservatives pledge to make home ownership more affordable by bringing in 1000-year mortgages
VAUGHAN, ONT – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has laid out his party’s plan to help more Canadians buy homes in Canada’s often prohibitively expensive real estate market by extendi…
Schools complain student climate strikes affecting their ability to teach kids apathy
CALGARY – As millions of youths all over the world strike to demand action on the climate crisis, schools are concerned that the outpouring of activism is undoing all the work they’ve put i…
