CALGARY – Reports from facebook and mutual friends have confirmed that Matt Wilsher, the person you would most like to see eaten by piranhas or stranded on a desert island, has recently pur…
Local man starting to suspect it’s too late to ask what Brexit is
Brandon, MB – Local man Steven Bach is getting the feeling that the time to figure out what Brexit actually is has long since passed. “I saw on the news that the UK government might fall du…
Scheer claims reports he endorsed Pizzagate merely distraction from important issue of whether Trudeau is Fidel Castro’s son
OTTAWA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer is fighting back against reports that he endorsed the absurd Pizzagate conspiracy theory by saying the left wing media is merely trying to distrac…
Last person to use Toronto’s Union Station pre-construction dies of old age
TORONTO – Florence Green, the last person in the world to travel through Toronto’s Union Station before the renovation began, has died peacefully in her sleep at the age of 112. “Our belove…
Poilievre credits rising poll numbers to time-tested Conservative strategy of ‘hope the Liberals do a big scandal’
OTTAWA – Basking in the glow of polls finally turning in the Conservative Party’s direction, leader Pierre Poilievre says that, like so many Tory PMs before, he owes his success to ha…
Man microdosing LSD macrodoses talking about it
HALIFAX – Local man Gregory Neiman has begun taking small amounts of LSD at regular intervals in order to boost creativity and productivity, while at the same time taking large amounts of t…
‘Now do you see why I was covering this up?!’ yells Trudeau at reporters
OTTAWA – In the wake of Jody Wilson-Raybauld’s damning testimony an outraged Justin Trudeau spoke to reporters this morning, demanding they apologize for criticizing his prior efforts to st…
B.C. Parents furious after discovering son’s hidden vaccine stash
VICTORIA – Two B.C. parents advised today that they weren’t sure where they went wrong with their 12 year old son Henry after finding a stash of vaccines in his sock drawer. “We’ve told him…
Trudeau brags about having perfect gender balance among people he’s thrown under bus
OTTAWA – Showing politicians everywhere that it can be done, Justin Trudeau proudly announced that he had created complete gender parity with the people he was sacrificing to the political …
Very important to Winnipeg man that you know it is currently colder in Winnipeg
WINNIPEG – Multiple sources are reporting that it is extremely vital to the health and wellbeing of a Winnipeg resident that everyone is made aware of the fact that the weather is actually …
