TORONTO – Sources within the Ford administration revealed today that the real reason the government took a sudden, extremely lengthy summer hiatus was to avoid being made of fun by the new episodes of The Beaverton tv show premiering July 23rd.
“Everyone assumed we were doing it to help Andrew Scheer,” said one high-ranking official who did not wish to be named. “But obviously we had much more sinister intentions: not give CTV television series The Beaverton tons of material to make fun of us about during their upcoming season airing Tuesdays at 10 right after Amazing Race Canada!”
“I mean, it was so obvious,” they added.
Despite not getting more material from the Ford government, the Beaverton’s producers say they are not worried, as they will still get plenty of material from Ford’s summer vacation plans, which are reported to include several rib eating competitions, at least 4 scandalous patronage appointments, and several public appearances where he can be booed as loudly as he was at the Raptors parade.
Outside of Ford, numerous ministers were relieved they had avoided the wrath of the hardest hitting satirical news series to ever air during the summer on CTV right after episodes of the Amazing Race Canada.
“Can you imagine what they would have said about me cutting autism funding if we were in session this summer?” said recently demoted Minister Lisa MacLeod. “Thank god there is a statute of limitations that says they can’t just go back and make jokes about things that previously happened.”
At press time there were reports that the federal Parliament would be going on “a regularly scheduled hiatus” as well, but we all know Trudeau is just scared of us.