COMOX, B.C. — Local adolescent Graham Holley’s adventure in a parallel world came to a disappointing conclusion thanks to his foolish belief that there was magic in his own heart, and not in the …
Tag: children
Child affected by book bans occupies time watching pornography and violent videos instead
PETERBOROUGH, ON ― Local child Raymond Connor, 9, has drastically improved his skills at multiple first-person shooter games this past month, as book bans have come into effect at his school boar…
Spineless fence-sitter thinks killing children is bad no matter who does it
MONTREAL – Local man Morgan Powell has been accused of both “ignoring the plight of Palestinians” and “hating the only democracy in the Middle East” for his controve…
5 tips for betting on NHL preseason games while your whiny children beg you for attention
Another NHL season is almost upon us, but if you can’t wait to see your team play – or if you’re desperate for money – the preseason can give you your fix. Some people say preseason hockey is bor…
Scott Moe: If Saskatchewan children wanted rights, they should’ve voted for someone else
REGINA – As part of his larger effort to teach all children (but especially trans children) that his government does not consider them human, Saskatchewan Premier Scott Moe has promised to …
World’s climate scientists recommend having only as many children as you plan to eat
GENEVA — The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change put out a statement today advising potential parents to only create and rear as many children as they believe they’ll feasibly be able to co…
5 Concerned Children’s Advertisers commercials that still give you nightmares even as you rapidly approach middle age
If you were a child in the 90s who spent a lot of time watching television (so basically 100% of children in the 90s), you probably still remember that feeling when Ninja Turtles, Reboot or Road …
Toddler more excited to see garbage truck than own father
OSHAWA – Pete Flannigan, father to three-year-old Luca, returned home last night to a crushing realization; his son is more excited to see a vehicle hauling fifteen tons of stinking garbage…
Parent who should absolutely never have had children demands say in child’s education
ORILLIA, ON ― Kyle Gardner, the father of four young children whose only hope for becoming decent humans is the public education system, is demanding the right to bypass the public education syst…
Editorial: Kids today are overprotected! I died in a fire.
OLD TOWN OF YORK – Look, I’m not someone who rises from the grave easily. I’m just a normal taxpayer like anyone else. I keep my head down, visit the dying, scare cats, and I don’t get exci…