VICTORIA, B.C. – Minister for Housing and Municipal Affairs Christine Boyle has announced that the provincial government will legalize polygamy in an effort to address the ballooning cost of housing.
“Right now the vast majority of family accommodating housing is unaffordable even for two working partner families,” explained Boyle, “so to solve that problem we’re encouraging the growth of multiple partner working families. Three, four, five, even more!”
According to the ministry, demographic research in the past decade has shown that multiple partner households already frequently cohabitate in the province, and that by updating the laws to “get real open minded”, they can ease the demand on additional housing.
“It’s a win-win,” stated Boyle. “More people get access to housing by living together and pooling their incomes, and housing developers don’t need to be pressured to build cheaper and smaller units that single people and couples can actually afford – otherwise things may’ve gotten so bad we might’ve had to bail them out!”
Reactions across the province were mixed, with the majority of responses expressing doubt that large-scale polygamous marriages would solve the cost of housing issue, or that the change only gave a legal ‘thumbs-up’ to what they were already doing.
“Now, I have a strong moral objection to the idea of polygamy,” said Jack Lee, from Surrey. “But having just one wedding between all my best friends and I instead of a bunch of individual ones would save a lot of money, and we’d all really love to be homeowners one day.”
“Everyone’s poly nowadays, it’s the only way you can afford a house!” explained Lily Morningstar-Santiago, a resident of New Westminster suburbs alongside six other partners. “You used to be able to get cheaper housing out in Abbotsford or Chilliwack, but now the choice is either start shacking up with all your best friends or learn how to commute to work from Hope. That’s why Lily and Lili and Emma and Sophie and Sophia and Anthrax and I decided to pool our incomes together to make a down payment on this house.”
At the government’s suggestion, new housing development projects are already starting to advertise to the public as “perfect polycule places,” showing off amenities like extra pull-out beds installed into the units, multiple full bathrooms, and built-in dry erase board calendars for planning cleaning schedules.
At time of release, the ministry said they were in contact with the Utah state government for advice on how to best implement these reforms.
