BARRIE, ON – A local couple who have lived in the same house for over two decades have been shocked to discover their home has heating. “It’s just not something that ever occurred to us,” says ma…
Tag: parents
Editorial: Kids today are overprotected! I died in a fire.
OLD TOWN OF YORK – Look, I’m not someone who rises from the grave easily. I’m just a normal taxpayer like anyone else. I keep my head down, visit the dying, scare cats, and I don’t get exci…
Parents wondering why you’re wasting your time trying to find a partner you like
YOUR PARENTS HOUSE – In the never-ending series of life choices you’ve made that baffle your parents, today they are wondering why you’re wasting your time trying to find a partner you like…
Toddler cannot fucking believe mom is here
FREDERICTON, NB – During a recent family gathering reports have emerged that 19-month-old Rodney McPhee has absolutely lost his mind with excitement upon noticing that his mother, Ainsley M…
Two-year pandemic officially longest relationship of woman’s life
Mississauga, ON – This week marks a major milestone in local woman Caitlyn Donahue’s life, as she celebrates two years of the COVID-19 pandemic – A.K.A. the longest relationship of her life. “I w…
Study: Casually mentioning terrifying health scare two months later is parents’ favourite form of entertainment
TORONTO — A landmark study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto has revealed that your parents’ most cherished activity is telling you about horrifying health scares months after…
Man raised by wolves unable to explain his tech job to parents
TORONTO – Randolph Farkas was left utterly flummoxed after trying every conceivable way to explain what he does as a profession to his parents Luca and Fang, two adult gray wolves. Farkas,…
Local mother and father play a rousing round of Who is the Tiredest?
MONCTON – After growing weary of their regular routine of parenting of three young children, Tony Garcia and Emma Weston managed to bring excitement and joie-de-vivre back into their lives …
This baby born in quarantine is 38 now
TORONTO – Local baby, Richard Henderson, born shortly after the first Ontario COVID-19 shutdown, just celebrated his 38th birthday. Henderson, who now suffers from male pattern baldness and…