CANADA – Canadians across the country have collectively unleashed a sigh of agonized frustration while simultaneously stating “Again with this bullshit?” “Help me out in u…
Tag: Canada
Meet the Canadian civil servant responsible for sending our wildfire smoke to the U.S.
With wildfire smoke drifting down from Canada into Michigan, New York and other states, numerous Americans have once again taken to social media to complain about Canada ruining their summers and…
“I would never have agreed to be a diplomat in Canada if I knew I’d have to be diplomatic to Canadians,” says Pete Hoekstra
OTTAWA – Tensions between Canada and the United States flared this week when US Ambassador Pete Hoekstra was captured on a live microphone admitting that he regretted his decision to accept…
“Democratic socialists are taking over!!” declared about US politicians who would at best be Canadian Red Tories
NEW YORK STATE – In the wake of several progressive Democratic primary victories, American pundits have expressed extreme concern over the victors’ “far left politics” des…
Trump, Lutnick, and Hoekstra forget which of them got paid off to halt Gordie Howe Bridge
WINDSOR, ON – Trump administration officials are struggling to remember which of them specifically was bribed by billionaire donors to block the opening of the recently-constructed Gordie H…
Mark Carney named next UK Prime Minister
LONDON – In the wake of Keir Starmer’s resignation as PM, Labour Party officials have announced a plan to select Canada’s Mark Carney as party leader and Prime Minister. “…
Hockey Night In Canada moves from CBC to Rogers; Canadian Cultural Identity reduced to butter tarts, Eugene Levy
OTTAWA – With CBC losing the rights to air Hockey Night In Canada, meaning fans must now pay to watch it on Rogers Sportsnet, the entirety of Canadian culture now consists solely of butter …
Upper Middle Class redefined as being able to watch YouTube without ads
NATIONWIDE – A recent study of Canadian living standards has found that the modern-day equivalent of being in the lower end of the upper social classes is spending money on a monthly YouTub…
WORLD CUP: Canada ties with Bosnia-Herzegovina, reignites WWI
TORONTO – Canada’s 1-1 World Cup tie with Bosnia-Herzegovina has officially reignited World War One, forcing Canadians to rejoin the Allied forces. Canada’s inability to defeat …
Report: Carney’s plan to protect Canada from US aggression to relocate entire country to Europe
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has reportedly settled on a last-ditch initiative to keep Canada safe from American instability: physically moving the entire nation to the continent of …
