By Andrew Scheer, Leader of the Conservative Party One of my favourite sayings by a young man named Andrew Scheer goes: I don’t care to belong to any coalition government that would have me as a …
Tag: Andrew Scheer
Beaverton Election Special to reveal who will secure the crucial Beaverton endorsement
Toronto – Producers of beloved satirical website and international television phenomenon The Beaverton announced today that they would be revealing which party had secured the coveted Beave…
Obama betrays fellow countryman
BEAUCE, PQ – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has been let down by his fellow American, Barack Obama, after he opted to endorse Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau in a tweet. “I have been…
Scheer: We must stop erasing Canadian history by learning about all of it
OTTAWA – During a campaign announcement that promised free attendance at Canadian museums, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer lamented the fact that political correctness is destroying Canad…
All political parties admit their opponents won the debate
GATINEAU, QC – In a rare display of self-reflection, the Liberals, Conservatives, NDP, Greens, Bloc and People’s Party admitted that their opponents fared much better in the federal leaders…
Update: Scheer kept US citizenship secret for fear of being persecuted as a white American man
REGINA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer said that he kept his US citizenship a secret until now for fear of being persecuted as a white heterosexual male from the United States. “I didn’…
Doug Ford still trying to finish Andrew Scheer’s diversionary scavenger hunt
TIMISKAMING DISTRICT, ON – Deep in the Ontario wilderness, Premier Doug Ford believes he’s nearly found all the items to complete Conservative leader Andrew Scheer’s elaborate game to keep …
Conservatives vow to cut $2.2 billion of foreign aid to Middle-earth
OTTAWA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer further outlined his foreign aid policies by announcing a $2.2 billion cut to Middle-earth, roughly 25% of Canada’s foreign assistance to other co…
Andrew Scheer quickly deletes “Prime Minister” from resume
TORONTO – Hoping no one has yet noticed the exaggeration on his resume, Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has quickly deleted details outlining that he was Prime Minister from 2006 until 20…
Scheer not attending climate strikes fearing presence of 16-year-old girl
REGINA – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer did not attend any of today’s climate strikes across the country for fear of being confronted by a 16-year-old protester. “I think I’m better off …