Sign of progress? Millennials, Boomers agree that Gen X is the worst - The Beaverton

Sign of progress? Millennials, Boomers agree that Gen X is the worst

TORONTO – Finally some common ground! After years of arguing about who really screwed things up, and millennials were able to come together in order to proclaim that Gen Xers can eat a bag of dicks.

“These precious Millennials drive me crazy with their laziness and ,” said boomer Keith Wainright from the offices of the full time job he could afford to retire from, but won’t. “But at least they don’t act like Kevin Smith movies are anything but complete shit.”

“Also they’ve never made me drive them to Lollapalooza.”

The proclamation was made at a neutral ground that both Boomers and Millennials enjoyed – a dive bar.

Wainwright cited other areas of agreement in this field, including “not getting” Jeaneane Garofolo and finding pretentious. Millennials were quick to agree on these and other points.

“It’s true that baby boomers basically destroyed the planet,” said 26 year old Mikey Hendricks from the vegan coffee shop he spends most days hanging out in. “But it’s also true that they never spent 4 hours explaining to me how didn’t actually kill himself.”

At press time no Gen Xers could be reached for comment because we didn’t ask them because fuck them.