Millennials Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: Millennials

QUIZ: Oh God, what now?

It’s been a long week! You’re tired, fed up, and the pizza you’re eating to make yourself feel better is weirdly making you feel worse. But after a long day of staring at a screen, it’s time to r…

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Millennial taking spectre of nuclear war in stride

MISSISSAUGA, ON – Sources report thirty year old Caitlin Barnes is “pretty laid back” despite the very real possibility a single tweet could incinerate the world in a massive radioactive in…

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REPORT: Earth in Retrograde

TORONTO – When Mercury is in retrograde, it appears as though the planet closest to the sun is orbiting the Earth backwards. This phenomenon has become a catchall explanation for why people…

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