baby Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: baby

Child abuse? This baby is wearing jeans

VANCOUVER – In a show of parental misconduct that would horrify even the most child-avoidant of people, a baby was spotted in a local cafe wearing jeans. The baby in question, Gerald Culver…


Baby smells weird again 

CALGARY — According to local sources, the Weaver family baby is smelling suspicious again after a brief period of olfactory normality.  “Well, it’s not the diaper,” said Michael Weaver, after tak…


This baby born in quarantine is 38 now

TORONTO – Local baby, Richard Henderson, born shortly after the first Ontario COVID-19 shutdown, just celebrated his 38th birthday. Henderson, who now suffers from male pattern baldness and…


Staring baby obviously looking for a fight

TORONTO – A fight nearly broke out on a streetcar earlier today between a fully-grown adult man and a two-month-old baby named Benjamin. Onlookers reported seeing the infant begin the fight by st…