ANYWHERE BUT ENGLAND – Viewers of a recent celebrity interview experienced feelings of shock and betrayal upon learning that that new actor is actually British, and not American as they por…
Tag: movies
Inside Out 3 to feature controversial new emotion, Diarrhea
Disney, United States – After the runaway success of Pixar’s sequel film Inside Out 2, the studio has announced a third film is in the works centering around their most controversial emotio…
Marvel executives say it is unfair for audiences to expect entertaining content
Disney+, California – Marvel executives at Disney are fuming that viewers of their content expected entertainment from their content. “When did we ever say our content had to entertain view…
Quiz: Should you watch Barbie, Oppenheimer or 2008 Canadian WWI drama Passchendaele
It’s the box office battle that has already launched a thousand memes: Barbie v. Oppenheimer v. Paul Gross’ 15 year old First World War melodrama Passchendaele. But how do you know wh…
Marvel movie fans studiously avoiding spoilers for latest predictable, formulaic film
LOS ANGELES – Marvel fans everywhere are abstaining from all social contact, in-person and online, from the release of the latest highly-anticipated film until the start time printed on the…
New Netflix prompt invites users to log into The Pirate Bay every 31 days
TORONTO – Amid ongoing crackdowns on password sharing, Netflix executives have announced they will be rolling out a new prompt inviting users to log into popular torrenting site “The Pirate…
Jack Black’s ‘Peaches’ triggers a generation’s sexual awakening
Orangeville, ON – An entire generation is reveling in its sexual awakening, thanks to Jack Black’s wet, hot hit, “Peaches” from the Super Mario Bros. Movie. In the film, Black plays Bowser, a Koo…
Where are they now? Volleyball from Castaway deflated version of former self
LOS ANGELES – After climbing to great heights as Tom Hanks’ co-star, the volleyball from Castaway is a deflated version of his former self. Prior to getting the role in Castaway, Wilson, as…
Motherfucking genius blows everyone’s minds by informing them that the book was better
ST. JOHN’S – Duke Street resident Sheila Reynolds caused a stir today, after declaring that the recent Oscar-winning film Women Talking was an inferior product when compared to the novel on…
Report: Austin Butler spent years stealing music from black artists to prepare for “Elvis” role
LOS ANGELES – Method actor Austin Butler shared the lengths he went to in order to get into character of the legendary singer Elvis Presley by appropriating Black culture for profit for sev…