Toronto is falling apart. All around us are violent criminals, people struggling with addiction who are also probably violent, and the worst of all – bike lanes. This once-great city is bei…
Tag: Toronto
Brad Bradford vows to put a cop in your living room if elected Mayor
Toronto, ON – In a bold campaign move, Toronto mayoral hopeful Brad Bradford has vowed to put a police officer in your living room if elected to office. “You will never have to worry about your …
Brad Bradford reinvigorates campaign with desperate “Landlords need more” slogan
Toronto, ON – Alliterative city councillor Brad Bradford ‘the rad landlord’ has relaunched his campy campaign for major mayor of Toronto with the desperate new slogan, “Landlords need…
Desperate Brad Bradford adds another Brad to his name
TORONTO – Election day in Toronto is fast approaching, and polls continue to show Mayor Olivia Chow with a lead over challenger Brad Bradford. So, in a desperate effort to court the bland, middle…
Blue Jays, Maple Leafs eliminated from playoffs
TORONTO — With the 2026 MLB season nearly over and the 2026-27 NHL season about to begin, the Toronto Blue Jays and Toronto Maple Leafs have been eliminated from playoff contention. “It’s sad to …
Rogers Centre posts detailed instructions on how to get to Rogers Stadium at every entrance
TORONTO – Following reports that thousands of people have mistakenly shown up to Rogers Centre for concerts happening at Rogers Stadium, the Rogers Centre has installed brand new signs outside ea…
Doug Ford celebrates bike lane court victory with public execution of local cycling group
QUEEN’S PARK – After the Ontario Court of Appeals overruled a lower court decision stopping Doug Ford from ripping out 19 kilometres of bike lanes in Toronto today, the Ontario premier cele…
Toronto air quality plummets to 1990s bingo hall levels
TORONTO — Environment Canada has warned that wildfire smoke drifting from Northwestern Ontario has reduced Toronto’s air quality to 1990s bingo hall levels. Elderly Toronto bingo players were amo…
Kawhi asks Toronto restaurant if that Ka’wine & Dine offer still stands
TORONTO – A few minutes after the announcement that he was being traded back to the Toronto Raptors Kawhi Leonard walked into a Queen street restaurant and asked for a meal on the house. &#…
Metrolinx hires elderly woman after watching her take 30 minutes to cross the street
Toronto, ON – Metrolinx has responded to criticism of its project speed by adding Nancy Callahan to their team after her inspiring 30 minute walk across an intersection. “Just look at her g…
