BURNABY, BC – An unsettling series of reports have left BC TransLink patrons concerned for their well being as bus seat warmth has been measured at record high lukewarm levels. “We are work…
Tag: global warming
NASA proposes bold new plan to terraform Earth
PASADENA, CA – Hoping to inspire the public, NASA announced a bold new plan today to terraform Earth, saying that one day, humanity may be able to realize the far-off, distant possibility o…
World’s nations reach historic agreement that they probably should have done something about climate change a while ago
NEW YORK – In a moment of surprising and inspirational unity, all of the nations of the world agreed at a summit today that, while there was absolutely nothing they could do about it now, t…
“Antarctic ice loss has tripled,” says crumpled report in garbage bin in Exxon’s cocaine lounge
Irving, TX – Oil industry insiders say that an alarming climate change report has been received by one of the top waste baskets in Exxon’s largest narcotic lounge. “It is imperative that we…
Woman with rare genetic disorder can only regulate her body temperature by complaining about the heat
VANCOUVER – As temperatures continue to remain high over large sections of Canada, Vancouverite Cheryl McCloud is keeping cool the only way she can: complaining. “It’s not that I enjoy comp…
27 year-old who hasn’t woken up before 9:30am in 8 years thinks he could run farm if society crumbles
VANCOUVER – Despite never waking up with the sunrise in his entire life, local 27 year-old Jamie Pasternak believes that he could own and operate a farm if Canadian society ever collapsed i…
Science win! Neil DeGrasse Tyson just destroyed this climate change denier by throwing him into a volcano
Just when you thought Neil DeGrasse Tyson couldn’t win the internet any harder, he outdoes himself. The astrophysicist and Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey host gets a lot of tweets from flat-earthers…
Experts expect every living organism to have own podcast by 2018
HALIFAX – Scientists from Dalhousie University are predicting that by 2018 every lifeform on Earth will be hosting its own podcast, available through their website or the Apple Store. “With…
Donald Trump’s EPA head denies pollution is man made
Who is this Scott Pruitt and where does he stand on the issues?…
Editorial: If Global Warming is real then why am I being sued by a woman who slipped on my sidewalk?
By Taylor Michaels The time has come to start questioning whether the so-called “experts” in climate change really know what they’re talking about. Sure, we all want to believe that the world is …