WASHINGTON, DC – As summer temperatures soar around the globe due to climate change, the world’s leaders announced they do indeed have a comprehensive plan in place to save themselves…
Tag: global warming
Liberals announce plans to continue announcing plans to, one day, cut emission rates
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau’s Liberals have announced their latest announcement to announce that at some point they will actually announce how they will cut Canada’s emission rates.…
Liberals attack Conservative party for not acknowledging then ignoring climate change
OTTAWA – The Liberals have wasted no time in denouncing Conservative MPs for belonging to a party that refused to acknowledge the reality of climate change at their recent policy convention…
5 TV shows you should watch before we all die
With global warming leaving most of the world on fire, the US trying to start World War III, and vapes giving us all popcorn lung, there is only one thing to take comfort in – it will all b…
Earth immediately breaks New Years resolution to lose 1.5 degrees
LUNGS OF THE EARTH, AMAZON – After publicly promising it was going to be a ‘new year, new me’ for the fifteenth year in a row since Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, Earth has once again imm…
Trudeau confident in climate action plan of “being dead by then”
OTTAWA – Responding to increasing concerns over climate change, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has doubled-down on his strategy of already being deceased by the time the apocalypse fully kicks in.…
Climate change skeptic insists earth was booby-trapped to explode from beginning
OTTAWA—Climate change skeptic Herb Gilpin has found increasing support for his theory that climate change, far from being caused by man-made pollutants, is in fact an indication that it is heatin…
Intellectual instantly creates opinion from headline
THE INTERNET – Not letting irrelevant distractions like nuanced reporting or context interfere, a local free thinker on Twitter was able to demonstrate superior intellectual ability today b…
Bus seat disturbingly warm
BURNABY, BC – An unsettling series of reports have left BC TransLink patrons concerned for their well being as bus seat warmth has been measured at record high lukewarm levels. “We are work…
NASA proposes bold new plan to terraform Earth
PASADENA, CA – Hoping to inspire the public, NASA announced a bold new plan today to terraform Earth, saying that one day, humanity may be able to realize the far-off, distant possibility o…